BITE.  What to Cook When You Want to F*ck.  By Ali Waks Adams

BITE. What to Cook When You Want to F*ck. By Ali Waks Adams

. 5 min read

This time around, Chef Ali designed an easy edible experience that seduces, before and after.

Seduction is my favorite part—it is all about possibilities. You are inviting someone in, showing them just a little of what you got goin’ on. Like a great dish, it starts with the barest whiff of attraction, sliding garlic cloves into warm oil. Soon there’s a legitimate aroma pulling you in, filling the room. Attraction is like that too, even the slightest possibility of sex makes the air a bit thicker, you feel yourself moving through it languidly, every movement means something.

As a chef, I am a professional seductress, I tease, I tantalize, I draw you in to my world.  My food heightens your senses, you find out what this tastes like, what that feels like, what it smells like, you eagerly anticipate what’s next until that final climax and then—ahhhhhh!—we relax together with a few little nibbles, and bites left to linger over. We are temporarily sated, but still curious…what could be next.

Food is a fabulous vehicle for seduction. I fed a man his first fresh fig, teetering on over ripeness - almost sticky, I wrapped it in salty, meaty serrano ham, I fed it to him by hand. I brought one gentleman into my world by leaving tiny bits of food out for him to taste, offering things he’d never thought of eating—truffles, roasted oysters, mushrooms.  Before meeting me he thought the five basic flavors were Ranch, Blue Cheese, Ketchup, BBQ and Cheez (they are, for the uninformed, Salty, Sour, Sweet, Bitter and Umami). I seduced my husband with a cheese plate. After a mouthful of aged cheddar crunchy with crystals and crisp russet apple drizzled with buckwheat honey, he was very interested in finding out what else I had to offer.

The sexiest, most seductive meal is one that invites, one that goes a bit deep, and by that, I mean a meal that has something of you in it. It’s your best, your favorite, it’s that combination that gives you goosebumps.  You don’t have to share every single thing at once, just open a door a crack, just enough so whomever you are seducing wants to get in, whether it’s your long-term partner or that couple in the vacation rental next door.

First, plan an easy edible experience from your own repertoire to seduce, whether that's homemade or a favorite takeout.  Something that makes you - as seducer - happy, whether it’s charcuterie, takeout dumplings, fondue, a great sandwich, a roast chicken or eggplant parmesan.  It should be simple.  

And then, make this beautiful mess of a crumble, warm and sweet, doused in thick cream—it's for after—when you are lying about undressed, half dressed, cross-dressed or whatever you do, and your relaxed, satisfied and hungry.

I have just the thing: Banana Crumble with Miso.

This recipe makes enough for two with leftovers for breakfast…if you are planning to seduce more than one person it is easily doubled or tripled.

If you hate bananas use can use literally any fruit whatsoever. My second favorites are big fat summer blackberries or sour cherries (leave out the miso and rum, substitute brandy or kirsch). Oh yeah and dont forget about apricot, blueberry, apple, pear, mango (mango/peach = amazing!). Just use what’s good and what’s in season. Whatever fruit you use, use the best you can find, use one kind, use two kinds, use three, make it your own!

I have just the thing: Banana Crumble with Miso.

This recipe makes enough for two with leftovers for breakfast…if you are planning to seduce more than one person it is easily doubled or tripled.

If you hate bananas use can use literally any fruit whatsoever. My second favorites are big fat summer blackberries or sour cherries (leave out the miso and rum, substitute brandy or kirsch). Oh yeah and dont forget about apricot, blueberry, apple, pear, mango (mango/peach = amazing!). Just use what’s good and what’s in season. Whatever fruit you use, use the best you can find, use one kind, use two kinds, use three, make it your own!

Banana Miso Crumble

Inside

  • 2 cups sliced banana

(Do not use the bananas you totally forgot about and have shoved in the freezer for smoothies. This is the place for a perfect freckled banana, firm but luscious, this is no place for limp, wan bananas.)

  • Juice from 1 lime
  • 1 Tbs vanilla extract
  • 1 Tbs Red Miso
  • ¼ cup dark rum (or shooter of whatever rum if you don’t want to buy a whole bottle)
  • 2 Tbs dark brown sugar (you can sub maple sugar, date or coconut sugar)
  • ½ stick unsalted butter (if you do not use animal product sub nondairy butter or coconut oil)

Topping

  • ½ cup oats
  • 1 cup flour (if you are gluten free you can go straight oats or use a GF flour blend)
  • ¼ cup packed dark brown, preferably Muscovado sugar (again you can sub maple sugar, date or coconut sugar)
  • ¼ cup white sugar (I like this for texture…if you don’t do sugar leave it out)
  • 1 big pinch flaky salt
  • ½ stick of cold unsalted butter- cut in small cubes (can sub non-dairy butter)

How to Make It:

  1. Toss the bananas in the lime juice.
  2. In small saucepan melt ½ stick butter, miso, brown sugar and rum over low-to-medium heat. When it starts to bubble turn it off.
  3. Let cool slightly then pour over the bananas.
  4. Toss/stir to coat them put in an ovenproof dish, a gratin dish is perfect.
  5. In a clean bowl, add oats, flour, sugars and flaky salt whisk them together.
  6. Using your fingers (if you have hot hands run them under cold water for a bit) work the butter in to the oat mixture—you want to coat it with butter—really get it there firm but gentle, rub it, oh yes, just……like……that.
  7. Tumble the topping over top of the bananas…and hold in the fridge until ready to bake.
  8. Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Bake for 20 -25 minutes.
  9. Serve warm with dollops of softly-whipped, barely-sweetened cream, whipped coconut cream, vanilla or salted caramel ice cream or iced ”cream”. Crème fraiche or mascarpone would also work, so would whipped sour cream or yogurt just barely sweetened and with a splash of vanilla or rum.

Additions: No one will be mad if you add a handful of chocolate chunks (milk would be best even though…yeah, I know dark chocolate is so good for you), a dollop of Nutella, peanut butter or almond butter, or candied ginger to the bananas…adding some toasted pecans, walnuts, hazelnuts or red skinned peanuts to the topping.

The Crush Letter
The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter curated by Dish Stanley on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?



Tags

"Don't Touch My Hat.*" Midlife Men & Loneliness "This is a Tale of Modern Love ..." 5 Things That Turn Me On: Ali Waks Adams 5 Things That Turn Me On: Bob Guccione, Jr 5 Things That Turn Me On: Craig J 5 Things That Turn Me On: Dish Stanley 5 Things That Turn Me On: Jane Boon 5 Things That Turn Me On: Lady Verity 5 Things That Turn Me On: Liza Lentini 5 Things That Turn Me On: Lynn Eaton A Turntable and a Candle: F-ing Classics About Face: Skincare Essentials for Men An Upbeat Playlist for the Divorce-curious And I Wondered ... Do We Really Need A SATC Reboot? Bisexually Anxious Among the Noodges. Review: shiva Baby BITE. Go Date Yourself! BITE. What to Cook When You Want to F*ck. By Ali Waks Adams Book Review: A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers Book Review: Norma Kamali: I Am Invincible Book Review: Swan Dive: The Making of a Rogue Ballerina by Georgina Pazcoguins. Reviewed By Lady Varity Book Review: The Lover. By Marguerite Duras. Book Review: The Story of O CRUSH Summer Reading List! From CRUSH Reader Sharon Weinberg, Owner of The Chatham Bookstore Dear Dish Dear Dish. About those summer orgies ... DEVOUR {things to do, have & know about} Dish Gets A Kink Assessment. Doing Nothing With Friends Extended Encounters. By Lisa Ellex F*ck Songs. Three Best Jazz Albums for a Sexy Night In. By Lisa Ellex French Kiss: French Girls Do It Better, Right? Grief. By Lauren D. Weinstein Hefner. By Bob Guccione, Jr Hide A Love Note In Their Pocket. Hook Ups: Hilary Harley, Astrologer Hook Ups: Meet Barrie Rosencrans, Spa Director & Dharma Yoga Teacher Hook Ups: Meet Heather Fink, Founder & CEO of the Sexiest Beauty Hook Ups: Theola Wong, Moon Babe Blankets Hot Thots I'm Dish, the Master of Ceremonies Lamentations on the Lost Art of Kissing. By Elisabeth C. Lamotte Let's Reconsider, with Adam Grant Love & Mike's "Bad Girl Pasta" Love / Sex / Moon Magick. Mercury Retrograde fucks sex. Not in a good way. Love/Sex/Magick. Hey There, Lover! By Lynn Eaton Love/Sex/Magick. Lammastide! Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Endings, Happy and Otherwise. By Lynn Eaton Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Full Moons I Have Known and Loved. Love/Sex/Moon Magick: The Power of Sex By Lynn Eaton Nice to Meet You. How Are You Crazy? Oasis in the Desert. One woman's honest journey through vaginal rejuvenation. OMG Yes. Pillow Tawk (or NOT)? Playing Games: A Review of Esther Perel's New Sold Out Card Game. Podcast Review: Dying for Sex. Why You Need to Listen to Molly's Journey. PrimeCrush & Chill: Movies Worth a Re-Watch PrimeCrush & Chill: The Hottest Thing to Watch Right Now Is A 1968. French Psychodrama "La Piscine" PrimeCrush Cocktail Coaster Giveaway! QUIVER. Sexual Debut Stories. Quiver. Sexual Debut Stories. By Lisa Ellex. Reports from the Edge: Kinky TV By jane Boon Reports from the Edge: Latex Stretches Reports from the Edge: Skirt Club. By Jane Boon. Reports from the Edge: Solo at the Sex Party SIP. Best Lines from the Double Dates Podcast Hosted by Marlo Thomas & Phil Donahue Six Ways to Get the Friends Who Count Snapshot Rec: Get Yourself Sexify-ed on Netflix. Snapshot Rec: Read Liza Lentini on the Indigo Girls in SPIN Songs That Make You Wanna F*ck Songs That Make You Wanna F*ck. By Christian Pan Songs That Make You Wanna F*ck. By Sarah Vespermann Stanley Tucci Is Paradise Stories & Conversations Stories to Read Aloud to a Lover. By A.K.A. Darla The 3 Things You're Really Fighting About The 4 Most Common Skincare Issues for Men (But Were Afraid to Ask). By Lauren D. Weinstein The Dynamics of Friendhip By Lauren D. Weinstein The Friendship Files: Like A Tattoo To get all of us, subscribe. Willin'. Divorce the Feng Shui Way. Willin'. Size Really Does Matter. You're My Medicine You're Wearing A Turtleneck, Again? Your Love Is King & Queen, GQ