The Crush Letter No 113: Toy Tester Report

I'm Dish and I write a weekly newsletter about life, love, and culture for those 40+. Because midlife and beyond is so much cooler than they said it would be. Hell yes, sign me up for the Dish.

Hello Crush,

In today's Letter we are back with more PrimeCrush Toy Tester reviews – sharing our readers reviews of the book 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do, as well as re-sharing many of our previous PrimeCrush Toy Tester reviews.

I love our toy tester reviews, in part because I get so much feedback that they are genuinely helpful to readers, but also because it points to being part of a community that includes people excited about contributing. Same with the notes I get commenting on stories or suggesting things that should be on ou radar, which I appreciate so much. Not to mention the readers who have written TOPIX pieces, or contributed to our 5 Things That Turn Me On or Songs That Make Me Wanna F*ck series or agreed to be interviewed for one of our articles, or taken one of our polls. Thanks, everyone!

This Letter is dedicated to sex, but I want to share that I had a recent conversation with a good friend about my online dating dramas and all the pressure on the first date to create "spark," this feeling of instant chemistry and connection. (Or else you will get the dreaded next day note that says, "even though we have so very much in common and the conversation was so easy, I just didn't feel there was chemistry between us.") The friend, who just turned 60 and has been married for over 20 years shared this perspective:

"I knew my wife for years before we lightning struck. At this stage in life sex is fun but quality company is more fun. It matters less whether there is romance and more that you care about each other. The important thing is having a person – people, really – who mean it when they ask "how are you doing?"'

And it really struck a chord. I have had two further in-depth conversations with other friends on this topic that added perspective and nuance, which I will write more about in an upcoming Letter. But the capsule idea is that we talk about the importance of sex, but is it the sex itself, or is it really the intimacy we want? Being touched and admired. Feeling wanted. Feeling safe. Feeling, as my Thomas says, like people really mean it when they ask "how are you doing?"

One of the primary reasons I write about sex in The Crush Letter is that I feel like the world (consumer companies, romance/relationship experts, erotic outlets) forget that we exist and I am trying to rebalance that. But yeah, I love the thought of exploring the other facets of intimacy that make up a long-term relationship.

For today, let's get it on. Enjoy!

If you're new here (welcome!), I'm Dish, the Master of Ceremonies. For more about me and why we're here go here.

In This Letter. +Let's Get It On: The PrimeCrush Toy Tester Project. Our PrimeCrush Toy Testers are sharing their book reviews on "101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do" The book is brilliant. There isn’t a person on the planet who shouldn’t read it! +{Re-Share}: We Tried the Tenga Smart Vibe Cock Ring. And Wow. This cock ring is the gift that keeps on giving (to me!). It might be my favorite toy. THANK YOU, Dish! +{Re-Share}: Sliquid Sizzle & Soul Lube & BELOVED Intimacy Serum & Moisturizer Sliquid Sizzle is more than enough to shoot you over the edge…multiple times! +{Re-Share}: Everything’s Better Wetter: A Few Words About Lube! By Dish Stanley What’s In the Lube Matters. +{Re-Share}: We Read Tracey Cox's Great Sex Starts at 50 and Here's What We Thought. By Dish Stanley +Social Media I Loved This Week. By Dish Stanley +Our Song of the Week

Let's Get It On: The PrimeCrush Toy Tester Project.

Actual PrimeCrush Readers have agreed to try out and review for the rest of us a range of sex products (toys, lubes, books, vibrators, you name it).

Yeah, our PrimeCrush Toy Tester Project is an ambitious effort, but thankfully some of your fellow Readers have taken on the hard job of being sexual explorers.

The PrimeCrush Toy Tester Reports go out only to subscribers. Note that I earn no affiliate (or any other fees) from these reviews, and all our Toy Testers have confirmed that they are independent reviewers free of conflicts.

A little background on our Toy Tester project if you’re new here. The single most recurring request I get from CRUSH Readers is for more recommendations on sex toys, products, techniques, sites, and information. Honest, independent reviews from the CRUSH community on things CRUSH Readers might want to try .

This was true when I published the first product recommendation, on the suction vibrator that Dame Products sold out of shortly after its launch (reprint below), and then again when I wrote about arousal gels (reprint below). After I published the article Field Trip: What Five Midlife Couples Learned On One Powerful Weekend Away With A Sex & Relationship Therapist, I got more. And when I wrote about How To Find Porn That's Actually Good, even more.

This is why PrimeCrush launched its Sex Toy Tester group. We have over a dozen volunteers, solo and partnered up, who test a wide range of toys, books, props, lubes, apps (etc.) and then (confidentially) let us know what we might want to try. (Not every tester gets every product; we send them out based on our testers' preferences. Each product generally goes to 4-6 testers.)

Let’s get to today’s action. Our PrimeCrush Toy Testers are sharing their reviews on the "101 Kinky Things" book, and then we are also re-sharing previous reviews.

Book Review: 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do. By Kate Sloan

Would you recommend the 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do Book to other CRUSH Readers?

6 out of 7 toy testers said “Yes.”

Here are some specific comments on 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do:

The book is brilliant. There isn’t a person on the planet who shouldn’t read it! Every newly married couple should read it and every already married couple. (Maybe especially every already married couple!) And every person with or without a partner should read it. Am I clear?
- “Dina”
I read through it and then gave it to my partner, who I live with. He is much more sexually experienced than I am because my late husband was (frankly) not sexually explorative. First off, I learned so much about my partner flipping through the pages. It created a very stimulating and lengthy conversation between us, that continued and continues. We liked talking through it and there were many suggestions that have led to exploration.
- “Dede”
I liked the chapters on moderate bdsm — as in how to slap, a little bit of hair pulling and tying up. I liked the role play material. I liked the “Try this” sections at the end of most topics. I flipped through 101 Kinky Things the day I got my box and marked pages. The next night I brought it with me to my boyfriend’s house and we went through my marked pages! Neither of us are hard-core kink (to say the least). We are fun, but lean toward plain vanilla, I’d say. But I’m a PrimeCrush Reader, so it has encouraged me to branch out. Anyway, I had wanted to bring some things up with him but didn’t know exactly how — it was great to use the book for that. I left the book at his place and now he is going to read through it and tell me things he’d like to do! There’s nothing in the book that you can’t see or do or learn about online BUT having the physical book in my hands as I went through it with my partner was EVERYTHING!
- “Linda”
I read it all. Honestly, I spent many years in Asia in my younger years for work and they were very promiscuous years. I learned a lot. I experienced a lot. I came back here and got married. Honestly, I wish my late wife (and every girlfriend for that matter) would read this. We are so traditional and repressed. Just reading this has been so much fun — remembering things I’ve tried, things I am doing but a tip to improve it (maybe), things I want to try. I have a very serious girlfriend now. She’s 70, I’m 75. We flipped through this together! We loved it. It was the basis for a great conversation. That is the best thing about this book. It is not any one tip or piece of advice, it is that it is a tool that you can use to spark creativity, give you ideas and most importantly - to start and continue communicating with your partner.
- “Liam”
It was helpful that the author Kate Sloan made even the kinkiest of the kinks seem approachable. Sloan includes a Try This section with tips and ideas. Even though many of the kinky things were not acts that my partner and I are planning to do, it was intriguing and sexy to read about them.
- “Dixie”
I wouldn’t recommend it. I knew much of it, and what I didn’t know I wasn’t interested in.
- “Andrea”
Glad to have this book! Thumbs up! Fun and exciting to learn new things as well thoughtful explanations of kink I was already familiar with. Descriptions are all balanced and include important safety information. Also like that each kink includes suggestions to get things rolling. A great resource even if only a handful of suggestions appeal. Also, the emphasis on the importance of aftercare is key and I like that it’s shared early in the book. A well considered source for adventurous couples.
- “Kate”

We could not have been more thrilled with the reviews of Tenga Smart Vibe Ring. It is a soft-on-the-outside silicone cock ring that has a vibrating upright clitoral stimulator. It can be used and enjoyed alone, but its “secret sauce” is that it offers for something for a female partner too. He slips it on (it stretches), and then one of you adjusts the vibrations. With five speeds and two vibration patterns, there’s plenty to try out. We were especially excited about this cock ring because of the well-designed clitoral vibration–and wow–everyone who tested it was delighted.

You can pick up a vibrating cock ring at the drugstore for less, but trust us, this one is worth the investment. Not only does the Tenga SVR look and feel like a luxury item, but with cheaper, poorly designed drugstore versions, getting the vibrating pulse to line up to the clit can be like searching for a quarter on the floor of your car while zipping through the toll booth. Frustrating, if not impossible. Not so with the Tenga SVR.

On the practical side, it is conveniently USB rechargeable and small enough to pop into the little travel bag they provide, so you can easily transport it in a backpack, purse or pocket.

Here’s what the PrimeCrush Toy Testers had to say:

“Would you recommend the Tenga Smart Vibe Ring to other CRUSH Readers?”

5 out of 5 toy testers said “Yes.”

Here are some specific comments on the Tenga SVR:

Tell us whether you enjoyed your Tenga Smart Vibe Ring.

This toy is fantastic. Not intimidating or obtrusive to the flow of our sex. I'm always hesitant to wrap my cock in anything that resembles a tourniquet, but the ring is very flexible yet tight enough to hold in place. We used it during sex and it aligned perfectly with her clit while I was inside. She loved it! It's also quite useful for finger play. The different vibrations make it fun to mix it up. Love this toy.
- “CJ”
My (female) partner and I both love this one. Mutual simultaneous awesomeness! Great design really adds to the fun without ever being awkward or getting in a weird place.
- “Harry”
This is a product I can get behind, or um, on top of. My partner and I had fun trying this vibrating cock ring. He preferred not to wear it, which made it easier for me to maneuver to just the right spot. He enjoyed the vibrations, but perhaps I got the better result from this toy. I also like the discreet storage case--perfect for travel.
- “Dixie”
Oh, my!!!! My boyfriend always enjoys a cock ring. I suspect most men do. And this cock ring is the gift that keeps on giving (to me!). It might be my favorite toy. THANK YOU, Dish!
- “Dina”
Holy shit is this great! My partner and I both absolutely loved it. Perfect in every way. This is why we love being Toy Testers! My partner had tried cock rings (and liked them). But a vibrating one? Wow. And I had no experience with a cock ring, but this was not at all intimidating and so easy to try. “Ring my bell, ring my bell …”
- “Kay”

We asked PrimeCrush Toy Testers to volunteer the brand they had already been and loved best. Out of 10 responses, only one brand got multiple (4) mentions, Sliquid. Personally, one of my straight-up favorites is their Sliquid Naturals H2O. It uses plant cellulose as a thickening agent, and for that reason it lasts. Like the Sizzle and Soul formulations, it is free of glycerin, parabens, gluten and sulfates and other harmful products and is also 100% vegan-friendly, non-toxic and hypoallergenic. Based on some of our Toy Testers' familiarity with Sliquid, we picked two different Sliquid formulations that were likely to be new to them: the Sizzle and Soul formulations.

Sliquid Soul Naturals is made with coconut and other organic oils. It can actually be applied to your skin topically to moisturize it as well as used as an intimate product. Like the Sizzle (discussed below), Soul is free of glycerin, parabens, gluten and sulfates and other harmful products and is also 100% vegan-friendly, non-toxic and hypoallergenic. I have a lot friends who use just coconut oil as both a moisturizer and lubricant, and Soul's "selling point" is that it is a luxurious step above for those consumers. Note that (as introduced in my ode to lubes below) because it is oil-based it can't be used with latex (toys, condoms, etc).

Sliquid Sizzle Naturals is similar to an arousal gel in that it is infused with food-grade menthol. It is a water-based lubricant intended to create a zing as you start things up. It goes on cool, but warms with friction. Like Soul it is toxic-free and natural. Because it is water based it is good for use with toys. Note that it is not as thick as the Sliquid Naturals H2O mentioned above. (For more on arousal gels, scroll down.) When we asked our Toy Testers what they thought of the Sliquid products here's what they said:

Would you recommend the SLIQUID Sizzle & Soul Lubes to other CRUSH Readers?

4 out of 4 toy testers said “Yes.”

Here are some specific comments on Sliquid Sizzle & Soul:

Worked like a lot of lubes. Effective but the Soul didn’t stand out. Also, I don’t normally use lube to masturbate but the warming sensation felt great. Seemed like we needed to use more than other lubes (Soul).
- “CJ”
I enjoyed them both equally and for different reasons. I love that both products are free of parabens and other unwelcome chemicals. Sizzle has a wonderful cooling effect when first applied and then warmed up once we got started. This is an amazingly great feature. Truly. Fun to try. A simple way to mix things up. My partner and I enjoy a bit more friction, and at times, Sizzle was too slippery. Sliquid Soul, on the other hand, has the perfect texture for us. It feels delicious. It is oil based (cocoanut) so not for use with latex products, but is non-staining so feel free to spread it around! My partner and I have a lot of fun together in many aspects of life. Being a toy tester has created even more playfulness. Thank you, Dish!
- “Dixie”
I really loved them both. I looooove knowing that they are non-toxic. And for a non-toxic straight-up lubricant, I could see the SLIQUID Soul becoming a regular. But you can't use it with products, and for that I use the water-based Sliquid H2O Natural. It lasts longer. I have to say, I’d never tried a “warming” lube and it felt good. They feel similar to us in terms of slipperiness and thickness. They feel great. I would say that they are not quite as “natural” feeling as the Beloved serum {reviewed below}, but they are both probably longer lasting. The warmth of the Sizzle will be great on a cool night. Thanks, Dish!
- "Kay (57)"
Liked the SLIQUID more than some other lubes we've tried. We were overzealous using SLIQUID Sizzle the first time and found a little goes a long way. My (male) partner liked it as much as I did. Now, need to get more. Sliquid Sizzle is more than enough to shoot you over the edge…multiple times! It definitely helps you sizzle:)
- “Andrea”

This intimacy serum is a new product brought to market by Founder Sara Gold. She is a woman of a certain age who discovered that moving into her "change of life," as she puts it, brought on a change in her hormones that resulted in dryness. Moisture is tied to a number of factors, and your hormones are one cause that can be familiar to women as we hit middle age. After searching for a lubricant that was both safe and made with high-quality, natural ingredients while also being packaged in an attractive, discreet bottle suitably sophisticated for "us," she decided to create a product herself.

Beloved Intimacy Serum & Moisturizer is a luxurious product that combines lube with a moisturizer and mimics the feel of a woman’s natural wetness. It is intended for those looking for a sensual and natural consistency and because it is intended to mimic natural wetness, it feels less greasy, sticky, slick, and thick than a lot of lubes. It comes in an attractive “serum” holder that looks more like an upscale facial moisturizer than a typical lube. And it is completely free of bad ingredients, of course. (Like every lube we recommend, it has none of the toxic stuff in it.) When we asked our Toy Testers, here's what they said:

Would you recommend Beloved Intimacy Serum to other CRUSH Readers?

4 out of 4 toy testers said “Yes.”

Here are some specific comments on Beloved:

Tell us whether you enjoyed your BELOVED Intimacy Serum & Moisturizer.

A product I didn’t know I needed has become one of my favorites. The slip and feel of BELOVED are startlingly natural. The light consistency and natural feeling of wetness made this a perfect product for daily moisturizing, which I thought was a weird thing at first, but is now a normal ritual. Oh, it’s also great for play! I tend to prefer oils when with my partner, but BELOVED pairs nicely with my toys:) My elegant container of BELOVED Intimacy Serum & Moisturizer isn’t hidden away in some drawer, it’s sitting proudly on my bedside table.
- “Dixie”
Well, it’s so pretty. I love the container. So that’s the first thing I noticed. I really liked it; so lovely. I love the feel of it - very natural, not too slick or thick. As I said, really lovely. What I realized after using it is that in terms of lovemaking, it is best for nights when I just want a little bit of lube - a little bit of extra wet. I will use something thicker and more long-lasting for a “Saturday night” (eg, a big sex night). But honestly, my partner and I have a lot of nights where it is just a kind of nice little quickie and I don’t want or need all the goo for those nights. Beloved is perfect for that. Highly recommend it! I have been using lube more, and I have you to thank for that, Dish. It really is better. I’ve also never thought there was much difference between lubes - and I never paid attention to lube ingredients. So I thank you very much for your “Wetter Is Better” piece. I liked knowing that Beloved (as well as the other lubes you sent us for testing) were non-toxic.
- “Kay”
I love this. It is not tacky. It is so natural. I haven’t tried a lubricant that feels so natural. I would say it is not a typical lube in that it is for adding some extra wetness for some lovely intimacy rather than a situation where you have a night of porn sex in front of you. But honestly, most nights I am *not* spending the night doing porn sex. So I’d rather use this on a day-to-day basis and pull out the thicker lube on occasion.
- “Jane”
Good… Pleasure to use but guess I was somehow expecting more… something.
- “Harry”

Lube is a Toy Box favorite, but make sure to check the ingredients. The same standards for clean products that have infused other parts of the health & wellness industries are not as widespread in the intimacy products market.

Wetter Is Better (or Why Lube Is Liquid Magic). Lube is like a liquefied Silk Sonic song as far as I'm concerned. It turns me on. It makes everything feel smoother, more intense, and like we're exploring something exciting. One of my best friends is adamant about only one thing when it comes to sex. (She's a fluid sort.) It’s better, and she has more orgasms, with lube than without it. Why? It’s silky and soothing, it’s fun, it can become part of a foreplay ritual (eg, a hand job that glides smoothly while applying the desired pressure), it can allow you to have sex longer (if you want!), and if you use it every single time it eliminates not only dryness but also (even more importantly) anxiety about potential dryness. (Because even if you are naturally well-lubricated, some day-to-day variation is inevitable.)

Consider this: I have another girlfriend who had never tried it because she said, she didn’t need it. But she’s a game person and with some urging from me and another girlfriend (in a Sex And The City moment over brunch), gave it a shot. What’d she say?

“I’m wet enough that I didn’t think I *had* to have it. But the sex was wetter. Wetter is always better when it comes to sex. We’ll definitely keep using it.”

What’s In the Lube Matters. I have some friends who aren’t particular about what lube they use - whether it is silicone-based, water-based, or oil-based (though you don’t want to use most oil-based lubes with most toys because it degrades latex). They don’t notice or care about feel, consistency, smell, or packaging.

I have become more particular. That’s because (and I hate to be alarming) the more I learned about lubes, the more I realized that the “clean” movement that has spread through much of health and wellness-focused products has not extended as deeply into sex products. There is toxic shit in a lot of lubes. I try to avoid additives and chemicals in my food and other body/cleaning products, and I sure as hell don’t want them up my vagina. A lot of lubes have ingredients, like various forms of sugar, that whether or not you are limiting them in your diet, you sure as hell should eliminate from your lube.

I started taking the ingredients in lube seriously a couple of years ago after trying a significant brand’s “Organix” lube in a pinch and ending up with a yeast infection two days later. My doctor pointed out that many lube contains forms of sugar, like glycerin. Sugars are a food source for microbes, particularly yeast. I checked the label on that lube and sure enough, it had “Xanthan Gum” in it, which I looked up and sure enough, it’s essentially sugar. So the lube was “all natural” but not healthy. That’s not sweet.

Now I use a few highly trusted brands (more on them when we publish our Toy Tester reports), check all ingredients, or go without my beloved lube.

What do I like in a lube? I like brands that use products that are formulated to be consistent with a woman’s natural pH. I like aloe (it’s soothing), and prefer water-based. I like to see “organic ingredients,” “unflavored” and “unscented” in the description, and also “safe for toys and condoms”.

What ingredients do I avoid? Anything on this list: DEA, gluten, glycerin, glycol, parabens, propylene, sorbitol, hormones, and sulfates. To learn more about lube ingredients, here is an article from SELF magazine with more detailed information. I can’t do a better job on it myself: 6 Lube Ingredients You Might Not Want to Put In Your Vagina.

So, lube up! But for your and your partner’s sake, check the label first.

Arousal Gels, Babe. Arousal gels for women have been piling into my ad space lately, so I ordered three from natural brands I trust: Dame Products, Simple Jane, and Foria. They all feel good (not at the same time!), amplified the feelings, made me tingle, heightened the experience, and felt more "organic" than a lot of lubricants. Here's my quick take: I like them all, but Temptress from Simple Jane and Awaken from Foria both have CBD in their formulas (maybe I imagined it, but I felt calmer and more open, and I really liked that). Temptress (with CBD) has a spicy/clove smell that I wouldn't pick for a beach vacation but is great for a cold night (and, let's be real, it also has the best name). Foria's Awaken (with CBD) had a subtler taste and smell (and I preferred that on a warm night) (and Foria has a version called Pleasure that also has THC in it, which I'd like to try but couldn't get). Dame Product's straightforwardly named Arousal Serum had the most tingle, my favorite smell, and taste (mildly minty), and is the least expensive (and if you prefer it without CBD, this may be your pick). Pro Tips for all of them: start with a very small amount because the sensations can be strong. And they might take a few minutes to rev up (especially the CBD products). Arousal gels are distinct from lubricants and don't replace lube. It's wonderful to try them at the same time, tbh.

Literal Good Vibrations. Dame Products has been making sex toys for women (by women) since 2014, so we expect good moves from them. But under the heading, "T.M.I." a reviewer in Refinery29 says that Dame’s just-released latest, a suction vibrator, made her feel like she was getting oral play from a cloud. (The review itself was pretty exciting, truth be told.) “Dame's Suction Vibrator Feels Like Getting Oral From A Cloud". And if this toy sounds maybe a little too advanced, depending on how far along you are in your toy journey (not judging here), it might make sense to first dip into this seminal piece by Liza Lentini, Features Editor at perennially hip rock mag Spin. “The Sex Files: A Crash Course in Sex Toys”

Traveling with sex toys. A few pro tips for traveling with your toys: go small with the toys (for instance, I wear this, bring this, and know guys who don't travel without this "it's f*cking fabulous Dish!"; wrap/pack up your toys in separate silk bags or stash them in this (so they don't go off!); do NOT pack your toys in your carry-on - they will disappear! (TSA evidently only hires people who want to try your toys!); and - most importantly - if you do find yourself standing in front of TSA security while they rifle through your silk bag of sex toys, there is only one way of handling it. Look them straight in the eye, shrug, and say "Yeah, it's going to be a good trip. I've got a handle on it (wink.)."

We Read Tracey Cox's Great Sex Starts at 50 and Here's What We Thought. By Dish Stanley

After writing in The Crush Letter No. 31 about the medical doctor who organized a retreat for five long-married couples from the Midwest in Field Trip: What Five Midlife Couples Learned on One Powerful Week End Away With A Sex & Relationship Therapist, Crush Readers started asking for recommendations on sex products and toys. I got a lot of notes like this one:

"I really like learning about sex products and experiences because it is out of my comfort zone, but reading about it in The Crush Letter makes me think that maybe it shouldn't be."

So we asked for volunteers among our community, and the long and short of it is that your fellow CRUSH Readers have been testing (and testing) the items in their first PrimeCrush Toy Box. We thought we'd start with first things first, so we included a book about how great sex in midlife can be, Great Sex Starts at 50 by Tracey Cox.

Equal parts celebration, empowerment, and how-to, Great Sex is a practical resource for anyone who wonders how the changes in their own--or their partner's–bodies may affect the emotions or mechanics of sex. It is much more than that, as Cox approaches sex as psychophysiological, meaning she explores the ways that your mind links to your sexual responses. In writing about sex she takes an expansive view of what it is and includes non-penetrative, non-orgasmic touching and play. Cox focuses on the health benefits of regular sex (solo or partnered). She addresses the practicalities (and upsides!) of having sex with the same partner over many years, as well as the significance that having sex (or not) has on relationships. She offers guidance on how to approach difficult conversations because, according to Cox's research, the couples who thrive sexually talk openly about sex.

The most shocking thing she discovered in couples over 50 was realizing how many couples post-50 have just stopped having sex and never talked about that fact, even among couples who otherwise communicate well and feel close and deeply in love. Some couples do decide not to have sex as part of their relationship and live perfectly happily, Cox points out, but if you are going to cut out such an important aspect of your relationship it is worth understanding why. If it isn't discussed, all sorts of inferences are often assumed, which themselves have an impact separate and apart from the physical. For instance, not feeling desired. Which, by the way, is a major deal.

Did the PrimeCrush Toy Testers like Great Sex? Here's what they said:

Would you recommend Great Sex Starts at 50 to other PrimeCrush Readers?

5 out of 5 Toy Testers said “Yes.”

Here are some of their specific comments on Great Sex.

What specifically was the most helpful?

The parts about how your bodies change - it is so important to be aware of not only your own (menopause in my case) but also what changes your partner’s body might be going through (in my case male); especially important because it is not like if he was aware he would necessarily feel comfortable sharing it. (He is shy and prone to embarrassment on such things.) I also read the parts about lube and sex toys. “Dawn”