The Crush Letter No 34: DEVOUR

. 15 min read

Hello Crush,

Happy Saturday morning, Crush Readers.  Thanks for being here!  

Once a month, we share our DEVOUR list, which is a list of things we think Crush Readers might want to do, read, see and have.  I am using "we" (as in The Royal We) optimistically here, really meant as an oblique invitation to you, dear Crush Readers, to send in recommendations of things you love that you think Crush Readers would want to know about.  Right now Lisa Ellex, a PrimeCrush columnist, and I pull the DEVOUR list together, but the two of us can't do, see, read and have everything that's swell.   If you (and you and you!) send us great ideas, we will make the DEVOUR column better for everyone.  

And if the "common good" isn't a big enough incentive for you, then hopefully I can tempt you with a set of PrimeCrush coasters.  While they last, for any Crush Readers that send in recommendations that we publish.  (I will continue to curate and edit it (naturally)).  Send me recommendations at  (Hint, our readership is national so we shy away from purely "local programming.")

It's an "all DEVOUR" Letter this week, and we've got lots of good things for you to bite into, including a Song of the Week that is a joyful motherf*cker.

If a friend forwarded this Letter to you, please, please click here to subscribe for yourself and join the Crush community.  Don't let your friend have all the fun!

If you're new here welcome!, I'm Dish, the Master of Ceremonies. For more about me and why we're here go here.  I share the best original stories and intelligence on everything love in your prime - romance, friendship, sex, self-care.  To read the pieces our CRUSH community has loved the most go here.  To subscribe (we'd love to have you and everyone you love) go here.

DEVOUR {things to do, read, see & have}

Succession!  Is Gerri A Tease?  Or Is She Actually Not A Hot Mess? As you know from Letter No 33, I am very excited (as in downright dependent as if my own ego were riding on it) about the prospect of watching the sexual relationship between Roman Roy, Logan's spoiled and immature youngest son, and Gerri Kellman, Waystar's middle-aged maternal General Counsel with a "Sister Superior Nun" vibe, play out in Season Three.  This is not for pure entertainment value but rather, as a middle-aged woman, I selfishly applaud "our" (broadly speaking) depiction as sexual beings, especially naughty ones.  I think it's a more honest representation of the women I know than the stereotype.  Wisdom and self-knowledge are the new sexy, say I.

In last week's Letter, I gave you the youtube links to the key moments in Roman and Gerri's sexual history, but Vulture gives us the full timeline:

A Timeline of Roman and Gerri’s Succession Sexual Tension
For all you disgusting little slime puppies.

{Spoiler Alert.}  In this particular regard, Succession's Season Three was all tease in the most enticing way.  After Roman makes a show of taking himself out of the running for interim CEO (entirely unnecessary given that Logan is undoubtedly too shrewd to have seriously considered the chaotic Roman for the top job, and Roman too smart to think Logan would), he strongly backs Gerri.  I am using "show" quite purposely here because when Gerri is in fact named interim CEO the true intent behind Roman's move seems obvious.  Roman can be the "slime puppy" to Gerri's dominatrix.  

His goal is thwarted when he makes an unconvincing invitation to Gerri to fool around, and the plot twists.  She tersely shuts him down with this:

I am quite a successful person, Roman, and I remain so by avoiding mess.    Gerri Kellman

I am putting good, hard money down on Gerri stepping right into that mess.  Come on, Gerri, make a mess.  I need this for you.

We evidently have many Crush Readers with strong opinions on this subject.  I sat up when I read this one, in particular, written by a Reader who is a retired therapist. Interesting, since it is the case that the Roy kids' biological mother escaped from their Father to another continent, so it is worth noting that Gerri, as Logan's longtime confidante and ever-present-General Counsel, may have been a maternal figure to Roman (in particular), as the youngest.

Dear Dish:

"I wanted to share with you that the Prime Crush letter that you recently put out was fantastic… I could totally relate to the comments about characters Gerri and Wendy Rhodes!

[On Succession,] there has been a hint/flavor of inappropriate possible prior sexual behavior between Gerri and Roman on Succession…Gerri has been around since he was a child and currently, she comes across like some creepy older aunt and at times he appears to sexually taunt her… almost as though he is goofing on her… or are they really just fucking with each other’s psyche?

[And as it relates to Billions,] as a retired therapist … I was very conscious of ethics and carefully downplaying any hint of what could be construed as overt sexuality during sessions for fear of creating some countertransference in my clients that I did not want to create… unlike, the Wall Street Wendy Rhoades character who appears to border on firing up her sexuality to a boiling point and using it to the utmost benefit.

"…. We are all sexual beings…therefore, how much of oneself can you hide or disguise…or should you?"

"Dr. Ruth and Dr. Freud would have had a field day with these two shows."


PrimeCrush & Chill:  Shampoo (1975).

In this periodic column, we hook back up with our favorite ex's--as in classic movies worth a re-watch.  (Not as in the hot mess who frequently forgot his wallet.)

In this quintessential early 70's classic, Warren Beatty is George, a rock star Beverly Hills hairstylist, and Julie Christie, Goldie Hawn, Lee Grant and Carrie Fisher (in her film debut) play the roles of  the rapturous women whose hair (and bodies) he adores. Beatty plays George as tender, earnest and genuinely lovable, but caught in a personal and professional trap that is (only) part his own making.  He loves making love to so many women because it makes him feel "like I'm going to live forever," but he also yearns to settle down with the one woman he really loves, start his own salon and build a stable life.  George's personal struggles mirror a greater cultural clash, though, as the movie takes place in 1968 on the eve of Nixon's presidential election.  Considered one of the most pivotal years in American political history, US News called it "The Year That Changed America Forever."  It saw MLK's and Robert Kennedy's assassinations, shocking depictions of civilian massacres in South Vietnam from the Tet Offensive which started America's withdrawal from Vietnam, and the clash of the sexual revolution of the 60's with the proponents of traditional values.  In the film George represents the former and his antithesis and unlikely romantic challenger, the successful and wealthy businessman (and Nixon booster), Lester, represents the latter.  They are fighting over the love of Jackie, played by an exquisite Julie Christie.

It is a quintessential early 70's film, overcast with political tension and foreboding, depicting a cultural clash that foreshadows today's.  But also, it is a feast of period images:  the groovy wardrobes (Beatty's conch belt, Hawn's Mexican-inspired top paired with printed cotton panties, Christie's backless sequined dress); 70's Los Angeles as a backdrop; vintage cars; the intense passion between Beatty and Christie (they were involved with each other during the filming); and of course, the hairstyles!  Beatty's shag is an otherworldly star in and of itself.

Directed by the great Hal Ashby (Harold and Maude) with music by Paul Simon.  It's playing on Showtime now.  Watch the trailer here.

Go.  AutoCamp Is the New Cool Weekend Trip Adults Are Taking. When I noticed on insta that a number of my funnest, gamest friends were doing weekends away with friends, lovers, and spouses at AutoCamp, I had to ask.  AutoCamp is an upscale "outdoor experience in modern Airstreams."  In other words, an upscale, hip campground.  With locations in photo-worthy locations like Joshua Tree, Russian River, Zion, and Cape Cod, these sites are in places you want to go.  From one Crush Reader:  "There are full-size walk-in showers, high-quality sheets and towels, a groovy, clean vibe, and a beautiful clubhouse where we ate our meals.  The clubhouse market has literally everything you need - we got a "steak kit" to grill, and it had pre-cut veggies, potatoes, and a steak sauce."  "I heard another "camper," say that they are going around the country and staying at all the AutoCamp sites and honestly, I could totally see myself doing that."  And if you think it is just for kids and families, according to another Crush Reader, it's not: "Actually better for a romp than kid trip.  Stay a couple of days, after that the novelty will wear off ... Get weird."  

Pro tips from Crush Readers:  "Splurge for the premium Airstream model.  The Master Bed in the premium models is great, but the tent has just a cot and the suites aren't airstreams."  "I'd say two people to a camper, max."  (hat tip, Mike T and Megan S. A set of CRUSH coasters coming at you both!)

AutoCamp: An Outdoor Experience in Modern Airstreams
At AutoCamp, we offer a luxury Airstream outdoor experience. Visit us in Joshua Tree, Sonoma, Yosemite, Zion, Catskills, or Cape Cod.

Watch. Peter Santanello - Bring the World Together, One YouTube At A Time. Acts of love come in many forms. YouTube docu-journalist, Peter Santanello spreads the love by making “videos about a world the media fails to capture”. At 24-years-old, Santanello left the U.S. and traveled to 50 countries in two years to candidly document different cultures and debunk stereotypes. Back in the U.S., he continues to create a world of love and understanding. From inside the Hasidic Jewish Community, to human trafficking at the US-Mexican border, to the projects of East New York, Santanello beautifully sheds light on -- and finds goodness in – the lifestyles of our neighbors, near and far. Each episode is an eye-opener but here are some of our favorites:

Follow. Tango Anyone? Terpischore_ek. I often expertly dance along (if only in my head) with the lovely and talented Argentine tango artist, Eleonora Kalganova on Instagram. Her posts are stunning, with moves so fluid and sexy that one would never guess that her recent feed was posted right up until she had her second baby (this week! happiness to you Eleonora!).  Put on your dancing shoes and “Hoo-ah!”

Watch Eleonora Dance Here

Follow. Your Daily Dose of Health & Wellness. Hayo’uFit Chinese medicine practitioner Katie Brindle has built an empire of her Hayo’u brand, from health and beauty to free daily Qi Gang classes (a Chinese system of physical exercises and breathing control related to Tai Chi) of 30-45 minutes in duration. Classes are bright and early, as Katie and her instructor's stream live from England, but you can watch the posted replays at your leisure.

Read.  If You Missed the Men's Health Series on Bob Weir's Workout Routine, It's Not Too Late To Be Inspired. Along with 362k others (including Nathaniel Rateliff, I note), I follow Bob Weir's Instagram.  I have seen this founding member of the Grateful Dead in concert a number of times (with the Grateful Dead before Jerry Garcia died, then with The Dead) and his energy and athleticism are impressive.  But it wasn't until I started following him on insta that I appreciated how dedicated he is to a fitness routine that allows him to play hundreds of three-hour concerts a year into his 70's.  He has filmed his fitness routine on video for insta, but this series of Men's Health articles provide the background and depth worthy of the icon's dedication.  Fitness is one of the key components to being happy into your 70's for Weir.  The other two?  "A sense of purpose," and "meditation."

The Grateful Dead’s Bob Weir Is Unbelievably Shredded at 72
Bob Weir stays strong and fit with CrossFit, Tabata workouts, and three-hour concerts.
How I Built My Body: Grateful Dead founder, Bob Weir
MH works out with a music and fitness legend
Watch the Grateful Dead’s Bob Weir Show Off His Intense Pre-Show Workout
The 73-year-old musician just shared a look at his training routine on TikTok.

Read. The Latest Novel from Val Emmich, Maybe We’re Electric. New York Times best-selling author, Val Emmich, is a multi-talented actor and singer/songwriter, widely- known for writing The Reminders and Dear Evan Hansen: The Novel. His latest work, Maybe We’re Electric, is a moving story of two teens who find themselves connected by their personal pain and loneliness. Tegan Everly is a young girl born with an “otherness” -- she has just two fingers on one hand. When she flees home in a snowstorm, she takes refuge at the Thomas Edison museum -- the famed site of the inventor’s brilliant discovery -- where she encounters a schoolmate, the popular young athlete, Mac Durant. Tegan is convinced they have nothing in common, but Mac is in desperate need of her acceptance. The unlikely acquaintances spend a snowbound night together that allows them to reveal their true selves and forge an electrifying bond.

Like its predecessor Dear Evan Hanson, Maybe We’re Electric is of the YA genre, however, the story transcends categorization and examines how emotional pain can connect us all, and the things that hold us back are truly the things that move us forward.

Listen. An Interview with Lady Gaga on Her Second Project with Tony Bennett. It’s been a decade since Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett recorded “Cheek to Cheek”, their first duo album that has kept jazz music alive by bringing the genre to Gaga’s young fan base. For Bennett, that union has been a beacon in the darkness of his five-year struggle with Alzheimer’s disease. Listen here to jazz columnist Nat Chinen’s talk with Lady Gaga about Love For Sale, her second project with Bennett that could very well be his swan song.

Bonus: After you’ve heard the interview, take a peek at Tony Bennett’s stunning body of paintings and sketches here.

Try.  Add Some Color to Your Lips (& Be Kind).  The Lipstick Journey. In response to adverse situations, Elizabeth Taylor was known to say, “Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” Next time you need to pull yourself together, you can help others pull themselves together when you make a purchase from The Lipstick Journey. The Lipstick Journey (named after the 2011 blog) founder and self-dubbed “lipstick junkie”, Anna Warner-Mayes, started the company in 2018 for cancer “thrivers” like herself. With each lipstick purchase you make, you can request to have one sent -- at no cost -- to a cancer fighter/thriver you know. If you don’t make the request, Warner- Mayes will send 100% of the net profit from your lipstick purchase to one of the various cancer organizations she supports (like “Imerman Angels” or “Gilda’s Club”). As if lipstick didn’t already give us enough reason to smile.

Home | Thelipstickjourney
Supporting cancer research and always non-toxic and cruelty-free, The Lipstick Journey is a collection of creamy, decadent liquid lipsticks created to bring your story to life with the transformative power of color.

This series highlights the best episodes from our favorite podcasts. One of them is Double Dates, hosted by Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue.  It features conversations on enduring love and all its challenges with couples who, like Thomas and Donahue, have been married a long time.

Episode Date March 29, 2021 (31 Minutes)

Anna and Ray met the old-fashion way: at work. He lived with his parents until he was 29, dropped out of college, and rode a bike to work because he didn’t have a car. Clearly, Anna wasn’t attracted to Ray’s fame and clout, which is part of what makes this Hollywood-steeped couple so rare.

Who They Are:

Ray Romano: Stand-up comedian and actor who rose to fame on Everybody Loves Raymond and Ice Age.

Anna Romano: After her time as a bank teller, Anna was an actor and cinematographer.

Married for: 34 years

How they met: Prior to a life of stardom, Ray and Anna met while working as bank tellers. After Ray quit, he asked Anna out—but only after getting rejected by two other bank tellers. Two years later, they were married.

Best lines:

4:41 Ray, “She took a gamble because she went out with a guy who lived at home and rode a bike to work. And now, she has her own movie theater.”

5:44 Ray, “She would be happy if I was a plumber—if a plumber made the same amount of money that I do.”

6:28 Anna, “He was funny, and he was just kind. He’s just a good person.”
Ray, “I haven’t heard the word ‘sexy’ yet.”

10:05 Anna, “No, we don’t apologize to each other … We just get over it, and that’s it.”

11:02 Ray, “When I was doing my show and all that, she’s the one home with the four kids, and I’m the one on the road... She’s the one holding the fort down.”

23:27 Ray, “What I get from her is the truth. In this business where everyone is phony or kissing your ass, I know that’s not going to happen with her.”

Ray and Anna come from similar Italian backgrounds. Ray was used to being taken care of by his mother, and now Anna takes care of him the same way. These two just can’t stop being funny, and it’s evident their home is full of laughter.

Listen to this episode if: You want to hear a tale of a romance that even fame, fortune, and breast cancer couldn’t destroy.

It must be the season of the witch…

Listen. To A Halloween Jazz Playlist. That Old Black Magic! It’s time to set a spooky mood with your Halloween Jazz playlist from Spotify (with a few traditional favorites thrown in “just because”).

Eat. Spooky Sweets To Eat If You Are (Or Love) A Vegan. Yes, I am that pain-in-the-ass vegan. The one you sit with at a restaurant and painfully listen while they ask the server a dozen questions before placing an order. Want to show us some love? Here’s a list of vegan Halloween candy to make our lives a little sweeter (we’ll even share with our non-vegan friends!). Trick or treat!

Song of the Week.

For the second week in a row (and that's a first for us), we've got another Allison Russell song from her solo debut album Outside Child.  This one is called Joyful Motherfuckers.  Don't pass this lyric video by.  It'll start your Saturday off exquisitely.  Where in the world are the joyful motherfuckers? / The fearless lovers, the rainbow shooters / The wild acceptors, the hopeful sinners / The gentle teachers, the true forgives.

Watch the Video Here

Now.  Let's all head out this Saturday morning as the joyful motherf*ckers we are, and make some rainbows.  Hey you, hey you, who do you think I'm talking to?

Dish Stanley XO,

We Don't Want You To Miss A Thing.  Links to Last Week's Letter & Previous Favorites (in case you were on a sailboat in the middle of the Mediterranean and had no wifi).

+Kathy: This is a Love Story About Three Friends. By Amy Ferris.  How far would you go to help a friend with her dying wish?

+QUIVER. Sexual Debut Stories. By Lisa Ellex.   In this series, subjects candidly discuss and reflect upon their “sexual debut” all these years later.  Today we share Mimi's story.

+Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Past Lives, Past Loves. By Lynn Eaton.   Ever met someone and thought you knew them before? Our resident Wiccan reflects on lessons we learn from people from our past.

+AMPLIFY. Double Dates Podcast. Marlo Thomas & Phil Donahue Chat with Justine Leguizamo & John Leguizamo.  This regular column shares a snapshot of our favorite episodes from this podcast where one famous long-term couple discusses marriage with another famous long-term couple.


'Merci'! to Emily in Paris for one of the most riverting women in pop culture "Divorce, Baby, Divorce" by Liza Lentini "Don't Touch My Hat.*" Midlife Men & Loneliness "This is a Tale of Modern Love ..." 2022 2024 Hit List 3 things I'm crushing on 5 Books to Help You Chill TF Out 5 Great Boutique Hotels Around NYC. By Jeanne Bosse 5 things that turn our crush readers on A Book That Could Unf*ck Your Relationship: I Want This To Work By Elizabeth Earnshaw. Reviewed By Angela Kempf. A Circle of Crones. By Elayne Clift A Roman Love Affair. By Lady Verity A Turntable and a Candle: F-ing Classics About Face: Skincare Essentials for Men An Upbeat Playlist for the Divorce-curious And I Wondered ... Do We Really Need A SATC Reboot? And Just Like That... Who Are These People?? By Jeanne Bosse And so this is Another brother gained and lost. By Jeanne Bosse Ask Dish Bedtime Rituals for Couples. By Lauren D. Weinstein Bisexually Anxious Among the Noodges. Review: shiva Baby Bloody Good Sex Book review Book Review: A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers Book Review: I'm With The Band by Pamela Des Barres. Reviewed by Evie Arnaude Book Review: Maurice Book Review: Norma Kamali: I Am Invincible Book Review: Swan Dive: The Making of a Rogue Ballerina by Georgina Pazcoguins. Reviewed By Lady Varity Book Review: The Confidence Game: Why We Fall For It Every Time By Maria Konnikova' Book Review: The Lover. By Marguerite Duras. Book Review: The Story of O Book Review: VOX by Nicholson Baker. Reviewed by Christian Pan Building The Perfect Music Collection Calm App Review: “If I Traveled Or Worked In An Office, I Would Rely On This App Heavily”. By Evie Arnaude Christian Pan CRUSH Summer Reading List! From CRUSH Reader Sharon Weinberg, Owner of The Chatham Bookstore Culture/Comments Dear Dish devour DEVOUR {things to do, have & know about} Devour: Reads we think you should devour Dish Gets A Kink Assessment. 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By Dean Christopher Hook Ups Hot Thots How to Be the Most Charming Person at a Holiday Party. By Evie Arnaude How to find porn thats actually good I am my own family I just turned 60 but I feel 22 I redesigned my closet. I'm Dish, the Master of Ceremonies Im glad my mom died In Good Hands. Kathy: This Is A Love Story About Three Friends La Mia Famiglia by Lisa Ellex Lamentations on the Lost Art of Kissing. By Elisabeth C. Lamotte Leave the husband, bring the cannoli. By A.K.A. Darla Let's Reconsider, with Adam Grant Love & Mike's "Bad Girl Pasta" Love/Sex/Moon Magick By Lynn Eaton LXIX. By A.K.A. Darla Meeting Across the River Melissa Biggs Bradley's New Book Safari Style Makes Me Want To Go On A Safari midlife MIDLIFE CRISIS: When Reality Strikes, By Dean Christopher Movie Magic. By Amy Ferris My First Solo Trip: Mexico, Part I. By Dawn Larsen My Prostate Journey: A Personal Story My Tits Contain MulTITudes Naked & Not afraid by KC Roth Oasis in the Desert. 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Stanley Tucci Is Paradise Stories to Read Aloud to a Lover. By A.K.A. Darla Tell Me More. By Dish Stanley The 3 Things You're Really Fighting About The 4 Most Common Skincare Issues for Men (But Were Afraid to Ask). By Lauren D. 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