The Crush Letter No. 93

. 8 min read

I'm Dish and I write a weekly newsletter about life and love after 40. Because midlife is so much cooler than they said it would be.  More complicated too. We have lots to talk about. Hell yes, sign me up for the Dish.

Hello Crush,

What's in for 2023? Great meals with friends; checking in regularly with the people you care about; making plans with friends; naps; getting outside; strength training; enthralling stories; pets on your lap; accepting what is; creating adventure; having the guts to make difficult, necessary changes; a friendship audit; check-ins on what is and isn't working in important relationships; celebrating the love in your life.

In other words, the same thing that's "in" every year. The annual "ins" and "outs" lists are entertaining, but really, our lives would be better if we lasered in on the nuts and bolts of what contributes most to a life well-lived.

Having said that, I'll admit to laughing outloud at a couple of the items on @overheardnewyork 's "ins and outs for 2023" list. "Pretending spaghetti squash is delicious" (I do this!) and "Posting AI generated drawings of yourself (this was never in btw)."

Speaking of in, is anyone else bingeing Emily In Paris? I had to because, as you know from Letter No 91, I just got back from Paris. I wanted to see Paris again, if not Emily (or her unhinged outfits – how I long for Edith Head). Sylvie Grateau, played by the 59-year old Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu steals the show. I am working on a piece about how long overdue we are for a character like Sylvie in popular television. Can't wait to share it with you!

In the meantime, here are highlights of our year together in this week's Letter. Thank you for being here!

If you're new here (welcome!), I'm Dish, the Master of Ceremonies. For more about me and why we're here go here.

In This Letter.  +The 12 Days of PrimeCrush. By Dish Stanley Here are some highlights from our incredible year, inspired by “12 Days of Christmas  +PrimeCrush & Chill: Movies Worth A Re-Watch This movie allows us to think or not think about all of this as deeply as we choose to, because, in the end, it’s a funny movie that’s meant to be enjoyed, and that’s more than enough.   +Social Media I Loved This Week. By Dish Stanley What day is it?  +Our Song of the Week In other words, hold my hand

The 12 Days of PrimeCrush

Here are some highlights from our incredible year, inspired by “12 Days of Christmas”. Enjoy!

On the first day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
A tribute to families we've made.
Our Crush Letter No. 89 was devoted to alternative families, the friends—including dogs—who become family, and the beautiful ways we share our hearts.

On the second day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Places we love to go.

This year we introduced a series called “This Must Be the Place” about the places we love most. (And if you’d like to contribute, reach out to!)

On the third day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Toy tester reports!
{To get all our Toy Tester Reports you have to be a subscriber. Lucky you!}

On the fourth day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Our new column TOPIX!

We launched an always-anonymous column starting the conversation about, well, topics that are important to us. Nothing is off limits.

On the fifth day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Recommendations we can stand by.
3 Things I’m Crushing On” is a fun and far-flung column on our immediate obsessions written by our contributors, editors, and favorite readers (just like you).

On the sixth day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Dish’s Hot Thots.
Our Master of Ceremonies shares her quick and thoughtful insights into her wild mind. (Fair warning: These writings will make you think and reflect…possibly quite a lot!)

On the seventh day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Skincare advice for men.
We regularly publish articles by and for the guys, and we keep hearing that they like our specific grooming advice, like this one on men’s skincare.

On the eighth day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Honoring midlife changes.
We’re discussing and honoring making big changes in midlife through our new series, Transitions.

On the ninth day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
How to find porn that's actually good.
As in ethical as well as enjoyable? Porn may be ubiquitous, but finding the good stuff requires a roadmap. We got you that.

On the tenth day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Midlife closet advice.
In her article “I Redesigned My Closet for My Midlife Lifestyle: Here’s What Happened” Daisy Foster offers a different kind of closet cleanout—one that honors who we are now in midlife.

On the eleventh day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Excellent book recommendations.
We curate the ultimate list of books we think you should DEVOUR.

On the twelfth day of PrimeCrush

My true love gave to me
Stories of enduring love.
Last, but certainly never least, we offer our series “Extended Encounters”, honoring stories of love that stand the test of time. (And if you’re in a long-term relationship and would like to be the subject of an Encounter, reach out to!)

PrimeCrush & Chill: Movies Worth A Re-Watch

In this periodic column we hook back up with our favorite ex's--as in classic movies worth a re-watch.

Just Friends (2005)

So, yes, I’m well aware that “White Christmas” “It’s a Wonderful Life” and even “A Christmas Story” is supposed to be my go-to holiday “classics.” But year after year, especially as I get older, I keep going back to this 2005 comedy starring Ryan Reynolds, and Amy Smart with hilarious supporting characters played by Chris Klein, Julie Hagerty, and, of course, Anna Faris as the stereotypical and utterly despicable pop star who we’re eventually thrilled to see fall off a mall balcony (don’t worry, she survives, it’s a comedy).

As the movie opens, it’s 1995 and Chris Brander and his best friend Jamie Palamino are celebrating their graduation with a party at Jamie’s house. Jamie’s the pretty popular one, and Chris is an awkward and overweight guy who wants more from her. After she rejects his profession of romantic love, he resolves to leave their New Jersey town forever—and that he’ll show them all. Flash forward ten years, and Chris Brander is a high-level music exec who uses beautiful women to help heal the wounds created by Jamie all those years ago. Through a course of silly actions, he ends up stranded with Anna Faris (who has her sights set on him—and then some) right near his hometown. And yes, it happens to be right before Christmas. He runs into Jamie and, in some ways, they pick up right where they left off. In the end, it’s not easy (and a lot of funny and disastrous stuff happens) but Chris and Jamie end up together.

For better and for worse this move is dated. For worse, Reynold’s character’s eventual philandering ways, as well as way too many cringe-worthy mentions of Jamie putting men into the “friend zone” feel very 2005—even if both actions and beliefs are still very much alive today. It would be great to pretend that our society has evolved from Anna Faris’ bratty/hollow-headed character of Samantha James, but Instagram and reality TV prove we are far from it. (Hey—we don’t even have the time to unpack how truly dated some of the aforementioned “classic” favorites are. We’ll save that for a different day.)

Continue reading here

Social Media I Loved This Week.  By Dish Stanley

@poptrashmuseum. OMGaaawwwd this is such good camp.  Thanks to PrimeCrush Reader @hipwaldorf for sending in.

Listen & watch here.

Elton John, Bette Midler & Cher's variety show act.

@gemmacorrell "Are there any leftovers?"

Song of the Week

Fly Me to the Moon By Bobby Womack
2011 Live performance at Jazz Cafe

Nothing like marking the holidays with something truly iconic.

Listen here

Dish Stanley XO,

You Won't Want to Miss A Thing. Here Are Links to Some Favorites.

+ DEVOUR {things to do, watch, see & have} In our monthly DEVOUR column we share all the things we think you should eat up.  Here are some snacks from the last few months, but to get all of us, subscribe.

+ I’m Glad My Mom Died: Jennette McCurdy. Reviewed by Evie Arnaude

+ I Am My Own Family. By Evangeline Villa In a world where being alone is shunned upon—what if I’m truly all I ever needed?


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