Also, just so you know, I hired a matchmaker last year and wow, that was a big disappointment too. More on that in a future Letter.
No spoiler alerts here per se, but if you’re excited about seeing Celine Song’s latest film because you, too, loved Past Lives don’t let me kill your buzz.
A girlfriend and I saw Materialists last week end. I made kind of a big deal about wanting to see it as soon as it came out because, first off, Celine Song. Past Lives was observant and nuanced and it so powerfully captured that conflicted, nostalgic feeling of considering a road not taken in your love life. Secondly, the primary subject in the film is a matchmaker, something I have some firsthand experience with, unfortunately.
In Materialists Dakota Johnson plays a New York City matchmaker who in her own life is torn between two men. Neither guy is ‘some of this AND some that,’ and her choice is straightforward and without nuance: one offers love and authenticity, the other money and charm (and a sizable Tribeca loft).
On the escalator heading out after the film I turned to my friend and asked, in a tone suggesting I didn’t really want to hear the answer, "Soooo. What’d ya think?"
"Meh," she responded. She’s usually pretty eloquent. Descriptive. Also often biting and funny. But it was as if ‘meh’ was all she could muster. All the film deserved by way of critique.
The woman riding the elevator in front of us, who we didn’t know, looked back, shook her head in agreement, "Yeah. Meh," she said.
”Me too,” I replied. “Meh. How disappointing. Do we think it was really ‘meh,’ or were we too hyped up for it because of Past Lives?"
"Really meh," said the woman we didn’t know.
"Also,” I said, "What was it trying to be? It definitely wasn’t a rom-com. Maybe that’s why we didn’t like it? Because we were expecting it to be something it was not?" (I mean, CRUSH Readers, see how desperately I was trying to give it a break?)
"No," said the woman we didn’t know. "I don’t know what it was. But we didn’t like it because it’s just ‘meh’."
After getting into her car my friend added, "Well I just don’t think Dakota Johnson is any good as an actress. She’s the same person when she’s being interviewed by Vanity Fair as she is in Materialists. You were always aware that she was acting in the movie. Or maybe it’s the other way around and acting is who she really is because she grew up in Hollywood. [Dakota Johnson is the daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson.] She was never the matchmaker in the movie. Or she always is that matchmaker person in real life. Either way, same person."
It’s a fair point. My friend was referring to the recent Vanity Fair interview where Dakota Johnson was asked to confirm a rumor that she sent gorilla shit to the ex-boyfriend of her close girlfriend. Watch it here.
And then watch Dakota Johnson in this trailer for Materialists.
Same woman in real life as the woman in Materialists. Same mannerisms. Same tilt of the head, same upward glance with the eyes, same voice. Same person.
Now, you might think she’s darling. I happen to think she is an endearing combination of sly and amusing and sweet and naughty all at the same time in the shit video. My friend finds her annoying.
Either way, the video is kind of funny. Materialists is not.
As the woman we didn’t know in the theater said, "I don’t know what it is," but "it’s just ‘meh.’"
Also, on a related but tangential note, I hired a matchmaker last year. It was also a big disappointment. I didn’t think Dakota Johnson was great playing a matchmaker, but I would take her any day as a matchmaker over the one I paid tens of thousands dollars to. More on my experiences as a client of a matchmaking service in a story coming up soon.
The Crush Letter
The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter from Dish Stanley curating articles & intelligence on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?
