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Hello Crush,
I hope that everybody has recovered from the emotional trauma of watching Punch drag around his stuffed animal. Thank all the merciful saints in heaven (as my grandmother used to say) that he seems to have been adopted and we can now stop scrolling for updates and get some sleep.
There was also the blizzard that hit the Northeast since our last CRUSH Letter. I was in New York City for what everyone was calling the “snow storm of the century.” We were bracing for disaster, stocking our pantries as if we wouldn’t be leaving our apartments until June. Here I was, trying to walk Koko in the storm booties I had dashed to Petco to save her sweet little paws from the frozen ice and salt. At a certain point on Sunday afternoon in the height of the storm, her third walk that day, she refused to move another step.
By Monday, when traffic was banned, the city was under a blanket of soft white. Koko gleefully pulled me over to Central Park in line with all the other joy seekers: happy dogs, families with sleds, skiers, snowman-makers and fort builders and snowball throwers. Central Park was gloriously fun.
If you found yourself wrapped up in the blizzard I hope that you, too, felt wrapped up in the beauty.
This is the last issue of our very full Frisky February. Enjoy!
In This Letter.
+Love/Sex/Moon Magick. Love Potion No. 9 By Lynn Eaton DO NOT DO THIS WITH A SPECIFIC PERSON IN MIND. It will always go sideways.
+SIGHS & moans: Living With Your New (or Even Long-Time) Lover's Sexual Past By. Ralph Greco So, how do we deal with our lover's sexual past?
+Eating Out, No Reservations Required. By Sugar Lips It is like eating cilantro, you either love it or hate it.
+Social Media I Loved This Week.
+Our Song of the Week We’ve got a love that lasts forever.
Love/Sex/Moon Magick. Love Potion No. 9 By Lynn Eaton
Feeling like you need to deploy a lovespell on someone? We are reposting this article from Wiccan Lynn Eaton to give you the tools, but be prepared.
For those of us who have attained a certain age, “Love Potion No. 9” is iconic. The rhythmic beat, the smooth vocals and lyrics combine to form the magickal elixir for an excellent make-out session in the darkened corners of the park—but it’s also a cautionary tale of what happens when a love spell goes sideways.
So, are there really love potions? An elixir to make someone fall in love with you? To make your sex really, really hot? Yes. There are. Aphrodisiacs have been around for thousands of years. Oysters, chocolate, wine to name a few. Wait. Wine? Chocolate wine? Mmmmm.
As a practicing witch, many friends and acquaintances have asked me to weave a love spell for them. Not happening. Too many variables. I cannot make anyone fall in love with you. Well, maybe I could, but it’s not ethical. (Free will and all that…) But there is a plethora of magickal things that you can do for yourself to attract a new love interest. Here’s a simple one, but DO NOT DO THIS WITH A SPECIFIC PERSON IN MIND. It will always go sideways.
Continue reading here
Eating Out, No Reservations Required. By Sugar Lips
A straight female’s take on the polarizing position of 69, offering some creative variations if you’re still on the fence.
Whenever the sex position, 69--a mutual oral sex position, face to groin and resembles the numbers 6 and 9--is brought up in unabashedly, bawdy conversation, usually after several alcoholic beverages have been consumed, I observe two polarizing reactions. It is like eating cilantro, you either love it or hate it.
Personally, its not my favorite position. Please do not get me wrong, I like to give and receive, just not at the same time. For me, it’s awkward having body parts and their respective pleasure zones vulnerable and in your partner’s face. It’s not especially comfortable and literally gives me a pain in the neck. I have difficulty concentrating on my own pleasure when I’m focused on sucking, licking, penetrating, and teasing my partner. Get the picture? Too much multi-tasking. (Plus, I personally don’t like the suffocating experience of having two dangly testicles bouncing off my cheeks while a stiff cock is being thrust down my throat.) Sadly, I don’t feel in the moment when I am worried about failing at attempting to achieve a Hollywood-style shared climax. For those of you who can do that, I applaud you.
All that said, adding 69 to your repertoire can change things up in the bedroom and provide an opportunity, for those who love it, to give and receive oral sex at the same time. I have listed a few variations on the theme. Remember, orgasm doesn’t have to be the goal. Communicate and have fun experimenting. Here’s how:
CLASSIC 69
Have your partner lie down, flat on their back. Climb on top, so you are facing away from your partner. Your genitals should be facing your partner’s mouth and their genitals should be lined up with yours. (Head to tail.)
TIP: When your mouth needs a breather use your hands or keep a small vibrator handy. Use a pillow, rolled towel or sex wedge to take the pressure off your neck.
Continue reading here
SIGHS & moans: Living With Your New (or Even Long-Time) Lover's Sexual Past By. Ralph Greco
Yes, You Can Go Home Again, But Should You?: Living With Your New (or Even Long-Time) Lover's Sexual Past
In this installment of his series, writer Ralph Greco explores the perils of digging deep into your lover’s past.
Sorry, but all that fun sex you and your partner are having is likely not the first time for either of you. Even if you married four-score-and-a-bunch-of-years-ago, there was most likely some hanky-panky your lover got into before you met.
Not that their past matters or is any of your business, but so many of us begin down that path of: "Who was this person with before me?" or "How skilled was he/she/them?" and can’t then avoid considering or asking questions.
So, how do we deal with our lover's sexual past?
What You Don't Know Can Hurt You…If You Let It
The less we know about something we want to really know, the more we will pepper in details of our imagining trying to know it. And when it comes to what we might conjure over our lover's sexual past, these details can be doozies! Take some of what you have experienced, a little bit from the porn scenes you watch, and some assumptions, and boy, you could have a field day thinking up all kinds of bed-rocking scenarios only somebody in their 20's could be limber enough to manage.
Continue reading here
Social Media I Loved This Week
Koko and I spent hours in Central Park on Monday, the day the city stopped to enjoy the snow. Here are images from social media of all the fun. I’m glad to have them to remember how special the day was.
Song of the Week
We’re In This Love Together by Al Jarreau
I recently heard this song on the radio and it immediately brought me back to the 80’s. Jarreau was a critically acclaimed jazz vocalist at the time, looking for a big hit in order to break out to a wider audience. This was his biggest hit and has become a “yacht rock” favorite. It has a polished smooth jazz sound, but I’ve always appreciated how joyful it is.
XO,
Dish
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The Crush Letter
The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter from Dish Stanley curating articles & intelligence on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?
