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In This Letter.
+Picture Perfect. Review of Amy Odell’s Biography Gwyneth. By Dish Stanley “Odell reminds us that before she became polarizing for selling us $200 “essential” white T-shirts, Gwyneth was a genuinely talented actress.”
+Things to Let Go Of This Fall. By Dish Stanley “My fear of people thinking I’m overdressed.”
+dishing. Some Gwyneth listening options, orgasms, an overhyped bougie candle, Robin Wright in The Girlfriend & sleeper historical fiction.
+Social Media I Loved This Week. +Our Song of the Week
Hello Crush,
It’s truly autumn now, and the leaves are contemplating turning orange and fleeing the scene, which is sort of how I felt at last night’s interminable dinner. It’s my favorite time of year and I’m back in New York for a few days.
I’ve had a few friends stop by for various things so I used that as an excuse (not that I needed any) to infuse my place with some autumnal moodiness. I’ve pretty much wrapped up the renovations on the apartment and — whether it’s finally done or not — it’s in a place where it’s ready to have friends by. And I love having friends by.
I also dressed up my mantelpiece.
Thanks for being here. I hope you enjoy today’s letter.
Picture Perfect. Review of Amy Odell’s Biography Gwyneth. By Dish Stanley
Yes, life was greased for Gwyneth as the privileged child of Blythe Danner and Bruce Paltrow and goddaughter of Steven Spielberg, but whether you want to admit it or not, Odell tells us that Gwyneth is also inarguably smart, talented, hard-working, determined and seemingly invincible.
Amy Odell’s Gwyneth biography is painstakingly researched — she clearly digs into the archives, the interviews and the cultural detritus of the last three decades — and the result is informative as well as eye-opening. The Gwyneth that Odell ultimately portrays merits respect for her work ethic, her talents, her vision and her apparent unflappability in the face of so many haters. Her invincibility in weathering each storm, turning them into an advantage, even. But she doesn’t spare Gwyneth when it comes to her shortcomings, as a person and as GOOP’s founder and CEO.
Odell reminds us that before she became polarizing for selling us $200 “essential” white T-shirts, Gwyneth was a genuinely talented actress who impressed her peers as well as us, her audience, for her hard work as well as the subtlety of her performances. Not only did she nail the character of Marge as Dickey’s sweet but suspicious girlfriend in The Talented Mr. Ripley (one of my favorite films), but she was pitch perfect as an anxious but stoic playwright in The Royal Tenenbaums and a surprise and dellight as both the vain and misguided star of Emma and the romantic, cross-dressing dreamer in Shakespeare In Love. If it were up to me, Gwyneth would still be starring in smart, independent films the likes of which Miramax once made (and A24 is now making) as her primary gig.
In connection with her acting career, though, what was perhaps her most critical “role” was assisting Jodi Kantor in her watershed reporting in The New York Times about Harvey Weinstein’s predatory sex abuse. Gwyneth shared the story of her own experiences with Weinstein which occurred during the filming of Emma, when many other actresses, Kantor reported, were reluctant to for fear of his powerful retribution. I had always wondered why Gwyneth didn’t come out much earlier against Weinstein given her own power and the power of her support base (her father, mother, Steven Spielberg (her godfather)) and given how well she seemed to be able to manage her relationship with Weinstein. There were obvious advantages to Gwyneth from her longstanding good relationship with Weinstein that must have been a factor. Because it is an unauthorized biography it can’t possibly include all the facts and dynamics around her decision, but I’m grateful that she was instrumental in making Kantor’s revelations possible.
Gwyneth says she’s retired from full-time acting (though she will consider selective roles and has an A24 film coming out in December starring alongside Timothee Chalamet called Marty Supreme). Odell’s biography makes it clear that not only did Gwyneth burn out on the fame and the lack of control over her life that being an actress demanded, Gwyneth’s pivot to Goop was aligned with her genuine passions in wellness. Gwyneth not saw the wellness market coming long before most of us knew what ashwagandha was. She may be making a lot of money from it, but she is clearly genuinely obsessed with various aspects of it, particularly what she would refer to as ‘emerging modalities” in wellness. She built an empire that, love it or hate it, reshaped how women talk about health, beauty, and aspiration.
Continue reading here
Things to Let Go Of This Fall. By Dish Stanley
Sometimes in order to be the really good shit you know you are capable of, you have to let go of some less good things first.
There is something about watching the leaves turn pale, preparing themselves to turn the glorious shades of orange that they will soon become before releasing themselves from the branches they cling to in order to float gloriously free that thrills me. ”You will be soaring soon,” I think as I walk under their fading green umbrellas.
It makes me consider the things I should release, too.
A random list of things I’m letting go of this fall, in no particular order:
My fear that people will think I’m overdressed.
Last year’s frozen Thanksgiving leftovers.
The urge to say “Koko, you look like a slut,” as she rolls onto her back and enthusiastically spreads her hind paws whenever anybody appears even mildly interested in her.
Thinking that my immediate reaction to anything is, or should be, where I finally land on that topic.
That friend who never initiates contact except when her husband cancels on her for the symphony last minute and only because she doesn’t want to go alone. (Bye, Amanda. I’ll miss the Bach.)
Any reluctance to go alone to anything I want to see, hear or do because I’m worried I’ll look pathetic.
Keeping track of how many consecutive days my neighbor is dressed in black spandex leggings. (30 so far!)
My anger at my Mother for not having seen things she didn’t want to see when I was a child.
Feeling like I should applaud bad performances out of fear that it was actually brilliant but I just didn’t understand it.
The idea that I could give up cheese.
The impulse to respond to every text asap.
The super hot shoes in my closet that are a half-size too small.
Advice from Gwyneth Paltrow.
dishing.
things that are getting me off these days.
Here’s this year’s fall foliage prediction map.
Let’s say you’re just not interested enough in Gwyneth to read 360 pages about her but you’re interested in her as a cultural phenomenon, then listen to Culture Study’s One Gwyneth Podcast to Rule Them All hosted by Anne Helen Peterson. It’s the smartest podcast out there featuring Amy Odell, the author of Gwyneth (and there are a lot out there.) Or let’s say you want to witness Gwyneth’s charm in action, firsthand, as it were, as she mesmerizes three famous men at once, then listen to this episode of Smartless. Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes and Will Arnett are putty in Gwyneth’s hands.
About orgasms. In this story from The Cut eight women who had never had an orgasm share what it took them to finally get off.
You couldn’t have meant this scented candle. A CRUSH Reader wrote in to say that she loved our piece this summer on how to be a good summer guest and “while I totally agree with the sentiment that nobody wants another bougie scented candle, they couldn’t possibly have been referring to the bougie Flamingo Estate Roma Heirloom Tomato Candle. I got this one, personalized with a note, from one of my guests and let me just say she will be getting an invite back. The Flamingo Estate line may be overhyped but it really is divine.”
Are you watching Robin Wright in The Girlfriend on Prime Video? I am. I love a psychological thriller and Wright is terrific (so far - I‘m only through episode one) as a mother who is just a little too close to her adult son. Stylish, glamorous, intriguing.
This historical fiction book is a sleeper. Even though The Magnificent Lives of Marjorie Post by Alison Pataki has been out since 2023, in the last month four different friends mentioned to me that they read and loved it. I read it when it came out and I agree. Fascinating.
A trick for easily polishing silver. I used it for a silver cocktail tray and it really works! (Oh, and I had a couple friends over for fall cocktails, yay!)
Social Media I Loved This Week
Song of the Week
High Note by Valerie June
I thought for sure that I had shared this Valerie June jewel with you already but it looks like I didn’t. June, a singer-songwriter from Tennessee, wrote this for Mavis Staples, who recorded it and titled her album after it. Check out June’s pop-soul number and let me know what you think.
Let the good times roll, CRUSHes. See you next week.
XO,
Dish
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The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter from Dish Stanley on everything life, love & culture. It's a view through the eyes of somebody over 50 who has found that midlife is a lot cooler than they said it would be. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?
