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Hello Crushes,
I’ve gone down the rabbit hole of considering spring book releases, which is always a wholly embraceable thrill for me.
I think I’ve mentioned (didn’t I?) that I dated a pretty major Hollywood film producer for a couple years a number of years back. He is on the Academy Award voting committee and I got to attend all the intimate fall screenings with him those years and met many gilded directors and actors, including Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro, Robert Redford and Cissy Spacek. (They were, by the way, all unfailingly respectful and polite and engaged in extended conversations with me about their films post-screening, even though I am quite obviously not a mover and shaker.) So I had the new book from Paul Fischer, The Last Kings of Hollywood, on my radar, and it doesn’t disappoint.
But you don’t have to have dated a film producer to enjoy it — if you like the movies or have an interest in the movie business, it delivers. One of our favorite reviewers, Christian Pan, captures the book perfectly in his review in the Letter.
I also spent quite a bit of time while I was off going through your questions on everything from permanent eyebrows, Dermaflash and thinning hair solutions to cock rings and lube. I’ve answered everything that can be answered in <two paragraphs below. Lengthier responses Many responses require a deep dive, which I will do in a future CRUSH Letter.
Please remember as you read through these recommendations that I earn nothing from them (and never have) (except for the bookshop links, which do provide nominal amounts and thank you for purchasing my book recommendations through them). I do no affiliate links, earn no commissions and have never gotten anything discounted (or for free), or even told any company/service provider that I would be writing about them (and thereby get better service). Everything I do or buy I do or buy just as you would — like an ordinary consumer, so I am in the same shoes as you, so to speak. I have no desire to be an influencer, or even to be “known” (hence writing anonymously).
But I’m inquisitive. And I try to do it thoughtfully and I like sharing what I take the effort to research and find out. And I like hearing from you about yours (and mine). Which is why I do it.
I had mentioned many months ago that I was thinking through the best way to move The CRUSH Letter into a subscription newsletter, but then my father’s urgent health issues and eventual death made that (and everything else) take a back seat. So that’s to come — but rest assured, I will be careful and thoughtful about it. I appreciate all of you, CRUSHes, so much.
Enjoy Spring! And your Easter and Passover celebrations, if you’re celebrating.
In This Letter.
+Book Review: The Last Kings of Hollywood: Coppola, Lucas, Spielberg—and the Battle for the Soul of American Cinema by Paul Fischer. Reviewed by Christian Pan Fischer trains his lens on three men who were friends and rivals, flawed human beings and exceptionally talented visionaries.
+Spring Book Drops I Can’t Wait to Dive Into. By Dish Stanley Three from my “tried-and-true” authors.
+My Responses to Some of Your Earlier Dear Dish Requests ... Dermaflash, Paris, Vibration Plates, Asian Deep Scalp Treatment, Permanent Eyebrows, Thinning Hair, Paris, Hu Ha Panties, the Hug Vibrating Cock Ring, Lube & More …
+And Don’t Forget Lisa Ellex’s Theater Production My Ex Husband’s Funeral If You’re in NYC this April Dish will be there April 11th.
+Our Song of the Week I should know better.
Book Review: The Last Kings of Hollywood: Coppola, Lucas, Spielberg—and the Battle for the Soul of American Cinema by Paul Fischer. Reviewed by Christian Pan
They were young, brazen, and in the right place at the right time. Our reviewer shares their stories, which became the epic stories of our generation.
In The Last Kings of Hollywood: Coppola, Lucas, Spielberg–and the Battle for the Soul of American Cinema (MacMillan), author and film producer Paul Fischer chronicles the transformation of Hollywood. Beginning in the late 1960s, the way movies were made, what they were about, and how the industry balanced creativity with commerce shifted. Fischer tracks these changes by training his lens on the three men who arguably have had an outsize impact on cinema over the past half century, brilliant filmmakers who were also friends and rivals, flawed human beings and exceptionally talented visionaries. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes by chance, the work of Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg–as directors, screenwriters, and producers, and especially during the 1970s up to the early '80s–indelibly altered what studios and audiences expect from a movie. In Fischer's well-written and accessible telling, these three filmmakers were key in making American film into something more that could be both highly profitable as well as personal and artistic, at least for a time.
Coppola, the eldest of the three, comes off as a kind of wunderkind in the book, a pied piper who inspired a new generation of aspiring young filmmakers that included not only Lucas and Spielberg, but also Martin Scorsese, Brian De Palma, and many others. At the start of the '60s, he earned extra cash directing softcore “skin flicks” while still enrolled at UCLA's newly-formed film program (Jim Morrison, frontman for the Doors, was his roommate at one point). Upon graduation he directed B-movies for Roger Corman, and by the end of the decade had directed Fred Astaire, shot his first feature, and got hired to write the script for Patton (which he would later win an Academy Award for). Despite this rapid success, young Coppola dreamed of creating his own film studio in San Francisco, an alternative scene, less corporate, where smaller and more personal films could be made. At first Lucas (who met Coppola on the set of Finian's Rainbow) follows him to the Bay Area to build this dream, along with many others, but none of them seemed skilled (or interested) in management or logistics. Coppola's strengths were more in dreaming big than managing the logistics of an indie film studio. Within a year, crippled with debt, he reluctantly accepted the “sell out” gig of directing The Godfather (1972) so he could pay his bills and get back to funding his "smaller, more intimate films.” No one foresaw that his Shakespearean interpretation of Mario Puzo's potboiler would become the highest grossing film of all time, as well as one of the most critically acclaimed.
In fact, much of his and the others' success had a lot to do with chance; their brilliance manifesting in how they adapt to extremely difficult circumstances. When on location to Martha's Vineyard to shoot Jaws, Spielberg planned multiple shots with the mechanical shark; it was only with its malfunctioning than he was forced to innovate, resulting in a 1976 blockbuster that surpassed The Godfather in ticket sales (though Spielberg would not become respected as a "serious filmmaker” until Schindler's List in 1993). Of the three, Spielberg emerges in the book as the most consistently successful– perhaps because he seemed less interested in altering the entire film industry, and more passionate about becoming Hollywood's most popular and highly paid director.
Continue reading here
Spring Book Drops I Can’t Wait to Dive Into from My Tried-and-True Authors. By Dish Stanley
I’ve scoured ALL THE LISTS of Spring books, as I always do. Maybe it‘s that the world feels so unpredictable and chaotic, CRUSHes, but the three I knee-jerk pre-ordered without hesitation are from authors I know well. And probably you do, too. Its own form of comfort food for sure.
London Falling by Patrick Radden Keefe
Non-fiction from the author of Say Nothing
I’d read anything by the author of Say Nothing, but also, give me a great nonfiction writer exploring the juxtaposition of glitzy London with its corrupt underworld, all through the lens of a mysterious murder, and you’ve hit most of my sweet spots. (Out April 14th, preorder here.)
Go Gentle by Maria Semple
Fiction from the author of Where’d You Go, Bernadette
A recent divorcee’s calm life on Manhattan’s Upper West Side is suddenly upended by the appearance of a mysterious stranger with, of course, secrets. This midlife transformation story is from the author of Where’d You Go, Bernadette, so I’m expecting the chaos to sprint along with both depth and humor, meaning this is the perfect book to roll me into summer reading. (Out April 14th, preorder here.)
I’ll also share this. I follow Joanna Rakoff, a former literary agent and novelist/memoirist who gets ALL the books to read pre-release and out of those, chose the six upcoming books she liked the best. Go Gentle was one. She wrote:
“Hilarious and deeply moving, wise and truly wacky, utterly unputdownable … And also, I need to say, important.”
The Keeper by Tana French
Mystery from the author of The Searcher, The Hunter (& Others!)
This is the final book in French’s trilogy about Cal Hooper, a Chicago detective who moves to a remote Irish village looking for peace and quiet, but instead finds murder and mayhem, Irish-rural style. Reports are that you need not have read either of the previous Cal Hooper books to enjoy this one. French, a master of blending suspense with a deep understanding of human drive (and depravity), says this murder-mystery is really about “what it means to belong somewhere, what demands that makes of us and what it offers in exchange.” (Out now, order here.)
I earn a nominal amount through your purchase via these Bookshop links, and I very much appreciate every purchase you make of my book recommendations. I pay my writers and contributors to The CRUSH Letter, and your purchase helps me do that.
My Responses to Some of Your Earlier Dear Dish Requests ...
Dermaflash, Paris, Vibration Plates, Asian Deep Scalp Treatments, Permanent Eyebrows, Thinning Hair, Paris, Hu Ha Panties, the Hug Vibrating Cock Ring, Lube & More … I have carefully gone through the pile-up of questions and requests you’ve sent me over the last few months. (Thank you!)
(Remember, I earn (gain) nothing from these recommendations. They are my thoughtful, honest responses based on trying things out like an ordinary person.)
Dear Dish,
Dermaflash. Could you let us know what you think of the Dermaflash! I am a huge fan of dermaplaning but I just use a drugstore blade. Wondering whether it’s worth the $199 or so. I liked the Rosalia dance video rec! - Sherry
Sherry - Yes I’ve been using my new Dermaflash, the very one that Belle Burden told us in Airmail is her “go to” beauty tool: ”Not only does it take off peach fuzz, but it also exfoliates and gives you a glow.” I have only been using it 1-2x a week for the last two weeks, but I see her point. I bought it primarily because I forgot to bring the one I already own, a Sonicsmooth, down to Florida with me. The Dermaflash Luxe is about $199 and the Sonicsmooth is about $121, and for the high price tag, the Dermaflash is noticeably better. It feels more substantial and is designed better and most importantly, the blade seems to get closer to my skin, removing more peach fuzz and exfoliating better. I do the Dermaflash at night before applying a mild retinol serum, then moisturizer.
Vibration Plates. If you use a vibration plate, can you report on it please? Thanks. - Linda
I know, they’re suddenly everywhere, right? I don’t use one and it’s because this piece from The Strategist suggests that they don’t deliver on the hype.
But CRUSHes: We’d love to hear from you if you‘ve tried a vibration plate. And if so, which one?
Dame’s Hug Vibrating Cock Ring. Have you tried the Hug Vibrating Cock Ring from Dame? I haven’t seen a review. - Sophie and John
Sophie and John - We sent the Hug out to our PrimeCrush Toy Testers when it came out in early 2025. We only got one review back, which we find is generally a sign that people felt “meh.” Here’s the one review we got back:
"Nothing beats the tenga vibrating cock ring for us, but this is a worthy entry in the field. A little big, takes getting used to, but delivers powerful fun." - Harry
Lube recommendations. Could you please repost / update your reccs on lube? - Mark
Mark - We are working on an update to our lube article, but in the meantime — to get you through a dry spell :-) — when we asked a couple of years ago, a number of CRUSH Readers had reported that they liked and trusted the Sliquid line of lubes. In particular, readers liked their Sliquid Naturals H2O. It uses plant cellulose as a thickening agent, and for that reason it lasts. It is free of glycerin, parabens, gluten and sulfates and other harmful products (that can lead to yeast and other infections) and is also 100% vegan-friendly, non-toxic and hypoallergenic. Because it is water-based, it is good for use with toys.
Crepey skin. What about crepey skin? - Judy
Judy - Yes! I feel you. Lauren Weinstein covered the subject thoroughly for us here.
Breathable panties. You posted something about these breathable, comfortable panties you like. What were they again? I remember they had a great name. Thanks. - Christine
Christine - Yes, the ones I wear (and love) that I wrote about in our Three Things I’m Crushing On column are the Hu Ha bikini’s.
By the way, CRUSH Readers, anybody got anything they are crushing on right now? We are compiling another series of what has turned out to be one of our most read columns, and we need you! Drop the thing you’re crushing on here:
And here are the answers that I’m still working on …
Permanent Eyebrows. Did you end up getting your eyebrows done? Can you write about it? - Marie
Marie - Yes, I went to Le Kitsune in Manhattan because Renee, the woman who owns the studio and does all the brows, has done over 15,000 brows. Plus, my thinking was that she is in a VERY competitive market, so I assume her long-term survival means she is good. And while permanent eyebrows seem to be trending and a number of places have popped up everywhere, the fact that Renee has been doing it for decades gave me comfort. She starts with a super convenient free video consultation before you make an appointment so you know whether you’re a candidate and whether you’re aligned with her approach before making an appointment. During that she emphasizes her conservative, natural approach.
I am going to write a full article on the experience soon, but her fee includes a touch-up four to six weeks later (because she likes to start so conservatively), then she tweaks it as you live with it. I am waiting for that touch-up appointment before I publish an article about the whole experience, but I’m very happy with the results so far.
Thinning Hair. Would you update us on how it’s going with the thinning hair thing, and whether you went to Dr. Baumann? It’s been about a year since you wrote about that and wondering what works? - Kate
Kate - My journey since first writing about my thinning hair has been intense. I can say that without a doubt this is the one age-related practice that has changed the most in my life since my forties. Some people go hard core with their exercise as the affects of aging hit them, some with their cosmetic treatments, some with their supplements, some with their social outreach, etc. For me, what has been the most up-ended has been my hair routine. As I had mentioned, all I ever did my whole life through most of my fifties was wash my hair with whatever cheap shampoo and conditioner I got on discount and then, to dry it, bend over and aim the dryer at my roots.
I am a full convert to a pretty complicated routine at this point, and it shows in my hair.
In other words, this is an article (or series of articles), which I will publish in the next few weeks. Thanks for asking.
Asian Deep Scalp Treatment. Have you tried one of those Asian scalp treatments? They are getting a lot of buzz and I know you were trying hair treatments. I’m wondering if they are worth it. Thank you. - Ben
Ben - Ooooo, I have my appointment at the new Head Spa at Masa Kanai (in the Ansonia) in New York coming up in April. But — I know, right? — head spa’s, deep scalp treatments, whatever you want to call them — are starting to pop up all over the place. They are distinct from hair styling salons, but also from clinical hair treatment centers. They are their own mash-up between a spa body treatment and the head massage you get after the wash at a great hair salon. I’m interested in it as something greater than the spa experience that it will be — although that will probably be great — since the importance of scalp health is one of the things I’ve been learning about in my hair thinning journey. I’ll report on the experience after I try it.
Personal Dating Stories & Advice. I love all the dating stories in CRUSH, from you as well as other authors. Have you written something with your actual dating advice, though? I don’t remember that (if you did) and took a scroll through past Letters. - Kim
Kim - Thanks! I know that CRUSH Readers love it when I (and others here) share their personal dating stories — and advice. I really appreciate that and I enjoy sharing stories. The thing I notice when I write about them as they unfold, though, is that the fact that I’m going to write about it is in my mind as the date/experience unfolds, which alters the experience itself. For instance, if a guy says or does something clever or funny, I think live — right then and there, instantaneously — that I am going to write about it. I also, in my mind, start crafting the story around it. In other words, instead of being fully present, I am crafting the story that I am going to write to you guys about it after! I’m not sure that’s great for my date, or my dating life, so I’m trying to figure that out.
And, as for advice, I struggle with offering that since — obviously — I haven’t found the one romantic partner that has been my primary goal in dating. I don’t consider this a failure, by the way. I think matching with somebody who is not a good match because being single is sometimes inconvenient and often hurtful (even your closest friends unintentionally leave you out of couples-oriented things) would be a bigger failure. At least for me. But I wonder whether CRUSH Readers would want to read the dating advice of a very experienced and opinionated dater who, despite (or perhaps because of) that experience and those opinions is nonetheless single?
Paris. I’m going to find myself in Paris solo for a few days late Spring. Rec’s please? -Sarah
Sara - Yes, I do! I was just there for over two weeks. Rec’s coming very soon!
Got a comment, question, request or recommendation for me, CRUSH? Share it here.
And Don’t Forget Lisa Ellex’s Theater Production My Ex Husband’s Funeral If You’re in NYC this April
She’s the Writer of Some of Our Most Popular Dating Columns, Including Willing, Quiver and others.
Dish Will Be There April 11th. Want to Meet Up?
Following a sold-out cabaret run in January, Lisa Ellex’s show My Ex-Husband’ s Funeral will have a limited run in Greenwich Village beginning April 9th.
Following the show, the audience is invited to stay for the repast to enjoy offerings from the bar and a jazz set with The Undertakers. Dish is planning to attend the April 11th show. Want to meet up at the repast afterward? Get your tickets here! And let me know you’ll be there by shooting me a note at Dish@PrimeCrush.com.
Also: Want to be interviewed by Lisa for an upcoming PrimeCrush story? She writes regular columns for us on midlife dating stories, how your first love continues to shape your life and how you met your husband/wife and why it’s still working after all these years. If you tell Lisa your story, she’ll spin it into a yarn. Write her at LisaEllex@gmail.com. Make sure you put PrimeCrush in your subject line so she catches it.
Song of the Week
The Thrill Is Gone, with requiem by Raye
Yes, the album that Raye just dropped This Music May Contain Hope is a theatrical (very theatrical!) symphonic masterpiece. She is breathing her full life into ever song. I hope you’ve all checked it out by now, because to say that “it’s the talk of the town” is an understatement. It’s the talk of the universe.
But it brought me back to Raye’s version of The Thrill Is Gone, performed at Royal Albert Hall with full-on symphony. The subject just calls out for the drama of an orchestra and, once I remembered it, I had to share it. It builds with patience, then explodes. It would have been a thrill to have been at The Royal Albert Music Hall that night in December (2025). She delights in interacting with the orchestra.
See you next Saturday, CRUSHes.
XO,
Dish
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The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter from Dish Stanley curating articles & intelligence on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?
