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Hello Crush,
Funny thing: out with a friend this past winter she asked me whether The CRUSH Letter was somehow a source of dates. “Fix ups, guys writing in to ask you out, anything like that?” ”What?” I responded, as if it had never occurred to me, since it had never occurred to me.
But I’ll have to amend that answer now. Why? Because this week’s Letter is Part 1 of my series on Men’s Summer Style, a subject that I am passionate and serious about. I love men’s style. I appreciate it when men pay attention to their personal style (and hygiene, but that’s a whole ’nother topic). When I came up with the idea to do this summer style issue for men I sought out advice from CRUSH Readers and boy, I got some great feedback - new lines and brands, detailed comments on items from brands we all know. I’ll be passing all that on to you, of course. (Thanks, guys.)
But also, with the Men’s Style Letter in mind, when I’ve been out and about I had more than one occasion to introduce myself to some pretty well-dressed guys. (It’s my WORK, CRUSHes.) “Hey, I’m writing a men’s summer style guide and I wonder, would you mind telling me who makes that shirt? It looks great on you!” Not only did their responses add to my knowledge arsenal, it led to one well-dressed guy asking me out. For the record, he is 65 and was wearing a Sid Mashburn cotton-linen spread collar chambray shirt, well worn-in Levi 501’s (dark wash) and a pair of vintage suede Puma GV Specials (you can get them from Puma’s NeverWorn offering here). Let’s just call him ‘Dreamboat,’ shall we?
Geez, I think I‘m on to something. (Duh.) Men’s Style Letters might just become a thing. Thank you and you’re welcome.
In Part 1 today we’re covering all manner of summer shirts. Coming up over the next two weeks:
Part 2: jeans, shorts and sneakers, sweaters, hoodies and heavier shirts
Part 3: Brands to shop (generally)
Note that as with all the recommendations that I (and CRUSH Readers) share, there are no affiliate links embedded in our style recommendations.*
*The one exception is that books are linked to the PrimeCrush Bookshop, where we earn a miniscule (but helpful nonetheless) amount per purchase.
Question: Host Gifts. CRUSHes, a Reader recently asked me to do a story about what to bring or do (eg, how to contribute) if you’re going to be a summer house guest. "We always show up with something for the house (and it‘s NOT a scented candle) and we then take them out to dinner one night. SNORE. Anybody got some great other ideas?"
So I ask all of you who frequently host summer guests: what stands out as the best things you’ve received as a gift, or the best ways a guest has contributed over the course of a stay?
In This Letter. +Dish’s Definitive Guide to Men’s Summer Casual Style Pt. 1: Polo Shirts, T-Shirts, Linen Shirts etc. If you are a guy over 50 who likes women and you don’t have an updated polo in your wardrobe, this is the first thing I’d buy for summer if I were you. +Vintage Tease. Opening night of the 2000 Boston Celtics season +Book Review: Be Ready When The Luck Happens By Ina Garten. Reviewed by Dish Stanley Impressive, Ina. Just own the competitive drive. +Dear Dish ... +dishing. +Social Media I Loved This Week. +Our Song of the Week Hot fun
Dish’s Definitive Guide to Men’s Summer Casual Style Pt. 1: Polo Shirts, T-Shirts, Linen Shirts, Camp Shirts, etc.
From Dish and A Few Stylish CRUSH Readers
Cotton Polo Shirts
I’ll lead with the cotton knit polo shirt because it is undoubtedly the shirt of the season for men. There are updated versions this season from various clothing lines in the full range from relaxed to tailored. Polos have soared as a men’s staple generally, and I am seeing them on good-looking men everywhere from outdoorsy locales out West (like Colorado or California) to casual dinners on the Cape to Boston and New York. I am not talking about the old school preppy polo, nor the technical versions made for golf. I mean updated cotton versions meant for going out. Because the updated polo falls somewhere between a nice t-shirt and a linen collared shirt, it works for a wide range of outings and over everything from jeans to shorts to khakis and beyond. One of the things that make all these polos more modern and versatile is that they don’t have an observable logo — a reason why I’ve stayed away from the classic golf/tennis polo’s we grew up with, which don’t have the versatility. What I like about all the versions I offer up is that the sleeves aren’t too short and they don’t have a tight band — two things I find unflattering on men.
As one CRUSH Reader put it: “I’m 64. I used to think I could get away with wearing a high end James Perse t-shirt everywhere, but then I bought a couple of Varvatos polo shirts for going out to dinner with my girlfriend. I think these work really well just about everywhere I go regularly.”
If you are a guy over 50 who likes women and you don’t have an updated polo in your wardrobe, this is the first thing I’d buy for summer if I were you.
The Super Relaxed Modern Polo
The updated, more relaxed version of the polo pictured above is a cross between the more formal poplin/linen collared shirts, on the one-hand and t-shirts, on the other, and its use case is inching out both. The best of the relaxed versions are super soft with a lightweight cotton: the James Perse Sueded Jersey Polo ($135) (left above) and the Buck Mason Sueded Cotton Polo ($75) (right above). J Crew‘s washed piqué polo shirt ($79.50) is almost a contender (but not quite); unfortunately, the coolest color in their arsenal (Union Blue) is currently sold out. I find the softness, the fluidity and casualness of the James Perse Sueded Jersey Polo so tempting and sensual— it would be hard to resist reaching out to touch a date dressed in this shirt. I might even be distracted, picturing what it might feel like to rub up against it.
Updated Polos, But A Little More Structured
The Todd Snyder Cotton Pique Polo ($98) and Sid Mashburn Short Sleeved Polo ($115) are sharp looking, more modern versions of the polo. Both are pique rather than the slubbed, or sueded, cotton of the James Perse and Buck Mason shirts, so they edge more toward a traditional polo, yet they are far from the preppy or ‘athletic-leaning’ polo that was once ubiquitous. (Note the lack of a logo.) These polo’s are for being out, not playing sports, and they come in a nice range of colors that include less sporty colors, such as black, white, charcoal, olive. Other sharp versions come from Vince ($148.00), Faherty ($79) and Anthony Thomas Melillo ($85.00). Varvatos makes some fine cotton ones, as well as polos in a sweater weight. I am focused on cotton in this column, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Vuori's Strato Polo ($64) has a terrific “tech” version that is soft but alas, not cotton.
This Definitive Style Guide Continues.
For more men’s polo’s, essential t-shirts, linen & camp shirts and graphic tee's, continue reading here.
Vintage Tease.
To celebrate summer, send us a shot of your favorite vintage t-shirt. From a concert, your favorite team, the memorable bar where that hot guy/girl who you never saw again got you off. Tell us the story behind it. What makes it your favorite? We will run this column every Saturday, or as long as we get your tease. I mean t’s.
Opening night of the 2000 Boston Celtics season. From Ben.
I looked through my stack of t-shirts when you started this column because I have a large collection of vintage t-shirts and I like to think it’s a cool look with jeans. I’ve never contributed anything to CRUSH and I enjoy reading everybody else’s, so this is a first.
I landed on this t. Honestly, it doesn’t get much play in my wardrobe because my first choice is never kelly green, but it should. Boston Celtics opening night 2000. I was there with my father, our usual seats halfway up the balcony of the then-FleetCenter. Jim O'Brien had just taken over as head coach following Rick Pitino’s tumultuous tenure. I had held season tickets for a decade at that point, including throughout Pitino’s run and he was just ‘not Boston.’ You could already sense a cultural shift, even in that first game. For my dad and me, being there was less about championship hopes and more about the tradition —the parquet floor, the green and white jerseys, and the abiding hope that this might be the start of a once-great franchise turning the corner.
My father and I were focused on what we hoped would be a young core that would eventually take us places. Paul Pierce, early in his career, looked like the real deal—a smooth, fearless scorer with a veteran’s poise. Antoine Walker had flashes of brilliance but frustrating shot selection. They were our dynamic duo, though they didn’t always mesh. I remember Pierce hitting a clutch three in the third quarter, which turned out to be foreshadowing for the role he would play for the Celtics for years to follow.
Of course, the 2000–01 season didn’t end with a playoff run. The Celtics finished 36–46 and missed the postseason for the sixth consecutive year. The next year was a solid one though. O’Brien, Pierce and Walker led the Celtics to the Eastern Conference Finals, their deepest playoff run since the Larry Bird era. O’Brien’s tenure was short but stabilizing. Pierce emerged as a true franchise cornerstone.
More importantly, it was time with my father, a man who had raised me as a diehard Boston sports fan (Celtics, Bruins, Patriots, Red Sox). He fed me Celtics lore with my cereal for breakfast. From Russell to Bird.
What I came to realize as I raised my own kids is that being a Boston sports’ nut is not only about the loyalty and tradition, it’s about spending time together. It’s also about passing down some truly noble and abiding Boston traits: scrappiness and resilience. #BostonStrong
The Check, Please. Notable Observations on Dating & Friendship from Dinners with Friends. by Dish Stanley
Whenever I go out with a group these days I ask them to share tips or stories about how to check people out for dating and friendship at this stage. I’ve begun to compile a list of their trenchant and humorous observations.
"If he doesn’t floss his teeth every night, get out now."
This is, obviously dating advice. From a divorced woman who was married to somebody with bad teeth. "It’s about more than just bad personal hygiene — it’s a signal of somebody unwilling to make small investments now for their future health.“ More important at this stage than ever.
"If they make you wait repeatedly, it’s a sign that they’re self-absorbed."
From a friend who is married to somebody who always runs late. "I love her, and she is not selfish, but she is self-absorbed. There is a difference. I believe that people who routinely keep others waiting feel entitled to keep others waiting. Their lack of awareness or concern about *your* time may be less about an intentional desire to disrespect you, and more about their own entitlement or unconscious desire to exert control. I’m not talking about people who strategically show up at a cocktail party late or other examples where someone runs late but they’re not inconveniencing anybody. I’m not talking about the occasional instance of getting stuck in traffic unexpectedly. I am talking about consistent patterns. About things like you going to pick them up and they’re never ready … you meet for a walk and you’re always the one standing on the corner waiting for them to show up, you’re waiting to start the tennis round, etc."
“Absolutely don’t marry somebody who grew up in a fancy New York City apartment building! Unless you’re going to live your life in a fancy New York City apartment building.”
From a girlfriend married to somebody who grew up in a luxe NYC apartment building with a great super.
"The building super - who made sure every little thing got magically fixed for them - is your worst enemy if YOU are not going to be living with them in a fancy New York City apartment building for the rest of your lives. They’re useless and clueless, and that job ends up as one of your jobs … “
Have a sharp take or story about subtle (or glaring) red flags in dating or friendship?
Maybe it’s that everybody is stocking up on their Summer book stack, but three friends in the last 10 days asked me whether I had read Garten’s memoir, published last October. So I’m re-running my review, in case you’re considering reading it.
Book Review: Be Ready When The Luck Happens By Ina Garten. Reviewed by Dish Stanley
Her memoir’s title implies that Garten’s success has been the product of a lot of luck, but the truth is that Garten has created her luck through exceptionally hard work and by being a bold, decisive risk-taker, not to mention an obsessive perfectionist.
Back in 2000, when my brother was still married to his now ex-wife Claudia, she brought Ina Garten’s Parmesan Smashed Potatoes to a family dinner. The potatoes were revelatory. For one thing, over the previous five years the only ones actually enjoying her cooking were the dogs we fed stealthily under the table. For another, who knew mashed potatoes could have so much flavor and texture? (Beyond the inspired addition of Parmesan, Garten advises to use red potatoes, which are creamier, and she keeps the skin on.)
Claudia had gotten Ina Garten’s cookbook The Barefoot Contessa as a birthday gift. For anyone unfamiliar with Garten’s approach to cookbooks, she is famous for her recipe development, which is to say that she obsessively tests her recipes before publishing them, something that surprisingly few chefs were doing back then. (Her former frenemy (now an outright enemy) Martha Stewart‘s recipes were famously, comically a disaster, in contrast.)
Garten’s first cookbook, The Barefoot Contessa, was published in 1999, and in the 26 years since, Garten has published 22 more cookbooks, closed the gourmet store she first became famous for, become a Food Network TV star, and launched (and shut down) a frozen food line. That’s just her professional life. In her personal life, she has been married to her uxorious husband Jeffrey (a former investment banker and Yale professor), bought and renovated an East Hampton compound, a New York City apartment (or two) and a Paris townhouse. Not to mention becoming friends with an awful lot of cool celebrities. (The one I am most jealous of was Nora Ephron.)
She’s had an enviably happy, fun and exciting life. You can learn all about it in her recent memoir Be Ready When the Luck Happens. (She reads the audible version herself.)
Dear Dish ...
"Dear Dish,
I loved last Saturday’s Three Things I’m Crushing On with your favorite summer t-shirts. I ordered the Anna t-shirt from Flore Flore and can’t wait to get it. Since you seem to like t-shirts with some feminine flare, I wanted to show you this one from Nation LA. I have it and I love it with this pair of high-waisted jeans from Citizens of Humanity.
Love, Lisa"
PS CRUSHES: The Citizens of Humanity Lyra Patch Pocket Jean pair is nearly sold out on the CoH site, but you can find them on the Anthropologie site.
"Dish!
I understand the need for the fitted t-shirts you featured, but the beauty of this relaxed slub t-shirt from ATM (beside the softness) is that it is loose but not too boxy, and it has this lovely side slit feature that makes wearing it untucked so nice.
Thanks for everything, Cynthia"
dishing.
things that are getting me off these days.
Amy Odell, announced today that she has an unauthorized biography of Gwyneth Paltrow coming out July 29th. (Available for preorder.) Odell is the author of the bestselling biography of Anna Wintour (also unauthorized, of course) . “Gwyneth was born to parents viewed as Hollywood royalty, and that immense privilege turned her into a target of backlash when, at just twenty-six, she won an Oscar. Rather than cave in to criticism, she leveraged the attention for valuable endorsement deals and film roles, eventually founding her controversial wellness and lifestyle company, Goop.” I find her annoying, yet I’ll definitely be checking it out.
OMG And Just Like That Season 3 is so, so awful. Is anybody watching it? I saw the first episode with a friend and as if the writing wasn’t bad enough, the styling is worse. Carrie has gone from ‘pushing the edge’ with her outfits in a way that encouraged all of us to take more risks to looking cartoonish. It is reported that Sarah Jessica Parker picked out the ridiculous mushroom hat in the season opener herself. I held my breath after the first episode, hoping that the second might offer up something redeeming, but now I’m out. This series needs to end. It’s done us no favors. Instead of catching the zeitgeist, as SATC did, its way past prime.
I’ll be seeing Materialists this week end with a girlfriend. I can’t wait. Past Lives, Celine Song’s debut film, was in my list of top three last year. The depth, the wistfulness, the subtle observations. The way it captured the deep wondering we have at this stage about the roads we did not take, even as we are committed to moving along the one we’re on. Materialists looks at a matchmaker, played by Dakota Johnson, torn between two men.
In Bustle’s wonderful series on famous people and their favorite books Celine Song chooses some brilliant books to share. The name of the Bustle series is One Night Stand. God I wish I thought of that.
This insta post is prime Keith McNally (speaking of prime). What do folks think of his memoir, by the way? My thoughts to come - I’m halfway through.
Social Media I Loved This Week
Song of the Week
Hot Fun In The Summertime - Sly & The Family Stone
Happy PRIDE Month!
XO,
Dish
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The Crush Letter
The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter from Dish Stanley curating articles & intelligence on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?
