Love/Sex/Moon Magick.   By Lynn Eaton

Love/Sex/Moon Magick. By Lynn Eaton

. 23 min read

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: My Personal Journey to Becoming A Witch.  By Lynn Eaton

While some may believe that all witches are initiated into the craft by a coven, PrimeCrush’s resident Wiccan took her own sacred path in communion with everything, including her CD player.

In my mid-thirties, I was searching for my path to spirituality. I discovered a very open-minded congregation of Unitarians in Kenosha, Wisconsin where a celebration of Samhain raised joyful, playful energy. I read books by Marion Weinstein and Scott Cunningham.

In my studies, some authors stated that in order to be considered a “full witch” I would have to be initiated into the craft by a coven.  I found some like-minded folks and we celebrated together but I felt on the outside somehow. I was discouraged by the fact that I hadn’t been initiated, that I hadn’t come into my full power. Yet I didn’t feel like I needed to have someone wave their magic wand over me and “Presto! You’re are Witch!”

Months passed without closure. I let go of the idea of “having” to have a formal ceremony to be a Witch. And that’s when it happened.

I was alone. My daughter was spending the night at a friend’s house. The moon was full. I couldn’t sleep. Loreena McKennitt’s album “The Book of Secrets” played on my CD player. I began to dance. I called the powers of the four directions to my space. I called out to the Goddess. I continued to dance. My body began to vibrate with power. Tears streamed down my face as I released negative energy. I danced. The CD ended. The moonlight was pouring through my window. I was connected to everything. Everyone. The Universe and its Power. I was not alone after all, but was I truly a Witch now?

Another Samhain (October 31st) was approaching. Witches celebrate with festivities called sabbats eight times a year and include the solstices and equinoxes. Samhain is the final celebration of the Witch’s Wheel of the Year. It’s a time for reflecting on the final harvest of crops, but also the Final Harvest of our lives. It’s an honoring of, and communicating with, our ancestors. I had found a group of like-minded folks and a rite was being planned.

I called one of the Directions - North. The home of my ancestors and where I was born. I felt the connection of my grandparents and great grandparents. I could feel their strength in my blood. Power was raised with the others in the circle. The veil between the worlds was very thin and messages were coming through.

I don’t remember what I said. I was merely the conduit for the information streaming through for one of those in the circle. Its impact was immediate and visceral. We could feel the energy swirling around and through us and into the world as a healing power. I was definitely a Witch now.

My daughter Robyn’s experience was a bit different. She was much younger (nine years old!) when she made the decision to follow the Wiccan path. And while she wanted to create her own dedication ritual to the Craft, she wanted to have others close to us help welcome her into it.

She found a lovely dress at a local thrift store and hand sewed little charm-like baubles onto it. She chose the music to play and the words to call the directions into our circle. She did it with the humour and playfulness that accompanies a nine-year-old. She asked each of us to bear witness to her promise to stay connected to the Magick all around her for the rest of her life. She made banana bread to share at the end of the ceremony. She became a Witch that night.

I am a Witch. I am connected in spirit to all who have gone before me and those who will follow in my footsteps. Blessed Be and Happy Samhain!

Take me back to The Crush Letter No 35: Trick or Treat Issue

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Past Lives, Past Loves.  By Lynn Eaton

Ever met someone and thought you knew them before? Our resident Wiccan reflects on lessons we learn from people from our past.

Have you ever felt, upon first meeting someone, that you just KNOW them? I have. Many times. Sometimes it’s a good, solid connection. But sometimes, all of the hair stands up to attention at the back of my neck.

One such occasion was at a coven’s full moon ritual. A new member was joining and I was looking forward to this new energy within our circle. Immediately upon meeting her, I felt as if I had been hit across the face with negativity. I tried to shake it off, but with each subsequent meeting, the negative impact increased. My energy was being drained away. I realized that this was the result of a past life encounter that was unfinished. I created an amulet for protection and gradually weaned myself from her presence.

On the positive side, is my Aunt Marilyn. I was named for her. To say that she and I are very close is a gross understatement. She took me in as a teenager, moving me from one side of Canada to the other. From her, I learned that my opinions had value. I learned a hard work ethic from her. Love and respect were given freely. But it wasn’t until I approached my forties that we began to discuss spiritual topics. I sent her a copy of Positive Magic by Marion Weinstein.

If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. Containing a little bit of everything, it’s a good introduction to Wiccan teachings. The chapter on reincarnation resonated with us both. We started remembering past connections. We were together in San Francisco during the earthquake. And many more lifetimes too.

When my granddaughter was very young, she would crawl around our house cooing and chatting in toddler talk. I began to notice that she would be particularly attentive to a photo of my grandparents that I had on a low shelf. She would giggle and chat for extended periods of time. A connection, I thought.

When she was about three years old, circumstances led to my not seeing her for a few months. A chance encounter at the grocery store was magick. I had just bought a new, double terminated crystal and was wearing it around my neck. She was instantly drawn to it. Holding it, she looked deep into my eyes and said, “I know you.” I replied, “Yes, my dear. I know you, too.” Shaking her head, she said, “No. Gran. I mean I really know you. It’s your eyes. I know your eyes.” My heart soared with love.

I am eternally (literally!) grateful for these connections in my life. When I encounter someone that I just know I KNOW, I pay attention. It is a sacred reminder that we are all connected, backward, forward and sideways through the webs of our lives, tangled up more deeply and with more complexity than we often realize. Maybe we meet someone briefly in this life who we wish we had more time with, or feel that we should have more time with, and in another lifetime we will. Isn’t that a comforting thought? Or maybe we bump into someone from our past. Just in case, though, you may want to keep a protective amulet somewhere safe, like your silk boxer (or lingerie) drawer.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Not A Fool’s Journey.  By Lynn Eaton

Unsure about your upcoming journey? Whether it’s a short trip or a new beginning, the Tarot might just have some answers for you.

Going on a trip? Unsure about the timing or the destination? A quick consultation with your favorite tarot deck could help you clarify the situation.

Tarot is very much a metaphor for life’s journey. The first card in the major arcana is The Fool. In many decks, the Fool is pictured as a vagabond with a hobo-like pack dangling from a stick, jauntily walking towards a cliff, carefree. At first glance, it may appear that it means foolhardy or careless. It does not. It’s about our travels through this life and the helpers we meet or the challenges we face. It’s also about trusting your intuition as you go.

To do a reading for your trip, place this card face up in front of you. Think about your adventure. What do want to see and do? When are you traveling? Ask the Universe to give you information that will help guide you at this time.

Shuffle the rest of the deck and have these (or similar) questions in your mind as you do so. You could also just ask the Universe for guidance, what do you need to be aware of at this time for this trip?

Place the deck, face down, into three piles directly below the Fool. The pile to the left represents the past. What has happened previously that has influenced your decision? The middle pile is the present. What is affecting your essence at this moment? The right pile is for future. What do you need to be aware of on your trip? These are the influences that are at work for this adventure.

Cards you’d like to see in the future card for a positive outcome include:

Six of Cups. Refill your emotional cups. If you’re planning to visit a place that was important in your youth especially, this is a positive indication that this is what you need at this time.

Three of Wands. Usually, this card shows a figure looking out over an ocean. In my deck, there are ships in the harbor. The new journey is in front of you, vast and unexplored. The possibilities are grand!

The World. Everything is possible. Successful and rewarding journey. Go!

Cards you’d not like to see on that future positioned card, a negative possible outcome include:

The Tower. The card’s illustration shows that lightning has struck the tower. People are jumping off of it to their doom. The foundation has been rocked to its core. My advice if you see this card? Don’t go! It’ll probably end badly.

Four of Pentacles. This card shows an old man holding down his coins, looking very unhappy. This usually means that this trip is going to be very costly. Unexpected expenses could pop up and leave you feeling forlorn.

Three of Swords. Three swords are piercing a heart. Blood is dripping from them all. In my opinion, this is Ultimate Sadness. I cannot imagine anything more painful than this. Not a great time to go off exploring into the unknown.

The Fool trusts intuition and so should you. The tarot can help you to focus in on what is possible or probable at this particular split-second in time. Just don’t jump off of any real cliffs into the abyss. Take it as advice from a trusted friend and if you decide to travel, enjoy yourself!

Love/Sex/Moon Magick:  The Power of Sex.  By Lynn Eaton

Did you know that your orgasm is pure Magick? Our resident Wiccan explains its loving, sexy power.

Sex. S-E-X. Much has been written, sung, discussed and argued about this very joyful experience. But there is an aspect of sex that perhaps not many folks have experienced. It is Power. It is Magick.

The energy released at orgasm can be magnificent and when channelled effectively can create Magickal Intention to manifest works. But it must be done carefully. It must be done with full knowledge of your partner’s purposes. You must be synchronized with clear focus for the rite. If not, it can be disastrous.

Many years ago, I thought that I had found a perfect partner in my life, love and Magick. He was Wiccan. We worked in a circle together doing full moon rituals and Wheel of the Year celebrations. I thought we were ready for some working together using the energy raised during sex as the apex of our ritual. I bought a new tarot deck as “our” deck that we would also use to focus our intent.

He knew of a secluded spot out in the country where all that was left of an old farmhouse was its fireplace. As the heart of the home, we thought it would make the perfect area for us. We hiked in twice with all our supplies for the night: Candles, symbols of the four directions, blankets, food, a boom box.

We spread our blankets and organized the space. Movement on the old chimney caught our eyes. Ladybugs. Thousands of them. A good luck omen, we thought. We spread out our new tarot deck. We got naked.

The circle was cast, candles were lit, music played softly. We moved with the rhythm. And then… nothing. Maybe it was all of the preparation or the concrete-like hardness of the ground. Maybe it was the coolness of the darkness overtaking us. Maybe it was the mosquitos.

We got dressed. We closed the circle. We had our picnic as we browsed the images on the tarot cards. None of them resonated with either of us. What went wrong?

No clear intention. No goal for the working. We split up as a couple soon afterwards. Intention makes the difference. Well, that and the right partner.

Like my Hunny Man. Together almost twenty years now, we make a good team. We’ve manifested some great things into our lives, too. The place we live is the best example of the culmination of some excellent Sex Magick.

We thought that we were content living in a duplex in the city, camping at a friend’s parent’s lakeside acreage on weekends and holidays. And we were. Until they told us that they were going to sell their place. Our glorious refuge from the hustle and bustle. The site of our handfasting. So, we decided to clear the path to our “perfect place in the country.”

Alone by the campfire, we made it clear what we wanted. We sang. We laughed. We got naked. We moved with the rhythm of our hearts. And then… Magick! Maybe it was the softness of our tent trailer’s bed. Maybe it was the warmth from the glow of the campfire. Maybe it was no bugs.

As the fire between our bodies magnified, we released simultaneously. I spoke aloud, “Find us our perfect place! Find us our home!”  Our intention was clear and united. One month later, we found our spot.

The real difference between these two experiences with Sex Magick is love. True, honest, messy. No bells and whistles with the “right” tools was needed with my Hunny Man. Just love and clear intention.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick:  Full Moons I Have Known and Loved. By Lynn Eaton

In this entry in her regular column, our resident Wiccan reminisces about her life with full moons and bright blessings.

I can feel its power grow. I feel the pull of it coursing through my very veins, like the tides it also controls. Full moons make me wide awake and energized. My sleep patterns go wonky.

There has been much written about full moons and their effect on humans and animals alike. Accounts of emergency room visits climb. Children run around like banshees. Werewolves are on the prowl.

As a nine-year-old, I remember walking the snow-covered roads near my house under the full moon. It felt right somehow. I felt safe. Its glow cast shadows and illuminated the sparkling whiteness surrounding me. I danced and sang its glory.

When my daughter was nine, we drove 3,000 kilometers to my sister’s house in Northern Ontario. It was a long, long drive through questionable, snowy highways. The sun had been set for hours as we neared her house. It was Winter Solstice, December 21st. It was also a full moon. The sky had cleared by then and the full moon shone down in all its glory. The Northern Lights danced for us. As we pulled into her driveway, a shooting star streaked across overhead. A magickal memory filled with gratitude and love.

Two years later, I was days away from moving my daughter, our two cats and all of our worldly possessions across the continent. Our destination was another sister’s house in Nova Scotia with her husband, son and two cats. It was a daunting task. The moon was full and I couldn’t sleep. I went out barefoot onto the damp grass and looked up for guidance.

Staring up at the fullness of the representation of the Goddess, I began to chant softly. I raised my arms and felt the power being drawn down into my body. The connection grew stronger. My feet tingled with energy. It spread throughout my body and I pulsed with power. I gave thanks and knew that I would be okay.

Many years passed and dozens of full moons.

I met my Hunny Man and we were handfasted (Wiccan wedding). We were driving across Canada with our truck camper and decided to overnight near Thunder Bay, Ontario. There’s a monument there of his hero, Terry Fox. The sun was setting as we walked up to his statue. It felt calm and potent.

As it turned out, it was a calm before the storm. Thunder, lightning and torrential rain pounded our little camper. It rocked in the wind. And other things. Great orgasmic things. And the full moon greeted us early the next morning as we left in the calm of the dawn.

Most recently, the full moon in Athens rocked my world. It had always been a dream of mine to sip ouzo in view of the Parthenon (Acropolis) in Athens during the Summer Solstice. I travelled there alone for three weeks of adventure. I explored Athens, took a five-day bus tour, visited my best friend from high school, and lazed on Greek island beaches.

I was taking a photo with my phone when a male voice said, “You’ll have a better view from the rooftop café. It’s just through here. Take the elevator.” He was right. It was spectacular. The full moon was just rising, pink in the reflection of the setting sun. Olive trees framed the majestic structure. I raised my glass of ouzo, toasted and gave thanks for the bright blessings of this trip.

In the light of this month’s full moon, I am grateful for all of these and the many more to come. I will share its power and strength with my friends, my family and my Hunny Man. Bright Blessings to you all.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Lammastide.  By Lynn Eaton

Our local Wiccan explores a traditional summer lovin’ ritual of Lammastide – "handfasting" of couples for a year and a day.  It's a sort of trial marriage (or however you want to consider it) that you can try at home.

Shakespeare introduced me to Lammas. Specifically, the Nurse in Romeo and Juliet: “On Lammas-Eve at night shall she be fourteen.” As a teenager, I thought it was fabulous that the heroine we were studying was close to my own age but what the heck was Lammas?

Lammas is on August 1st and marks about halfway from the summer solstice of June 21st to the autumnal equinox on September 21st. Traditionally, it’s the time of the first harvest. The first fruits of the fields and gardens are ready to be savored. The days and nights are warm and sultry. Winter is far in the distance. It’s still light far into the evenings.

The weather at Lammas is usually perfect for outdoor celebrations and everywhere across the Northern Hemisphere such festivities usually take place: Family gatherings, county fairs, music festivals, carnivals, fireworks, and picnics. Perfect for trysts. And magickal rites.

According to Llewellyn’s Sabbat Essentials: Lughnasdh, this was a time for handfasting of couples. A trial marriage that lasted a year and a day, the union could be ended without penalty after that time. Nowadays, it could be a perfect time to renew vows in ritual with your partner.

Here’s what I plan to do with my Hunny Man at sunset that night:

  1. Have a nice campfire glowing and let our breathing become slow, even and synchronized.
  2. Face North. Feel the strength and stability of the Earth beneath our feet. Thank the Power of the North for this Gift.
  3. Face East. Feel the breath of Air around us. Thank the Power of the East for this Gift.
  4. Face South. Feel the heat of the Fire on our skins. Thank the Power of the South for this Gift.
  5. Face West. Feel the quenching taste of water as we sip from our cups. Thank the Power of South for this Gift.
  6. Join hands and feel the energy of the space and each other’s energies mingling in this moment of time and space.
  7. Thank each other for the commitments, talents, memories, love and laughter shared over our years together.
  8. Thank each other too, for the challenges we’ve been able to conquer and from which we’ve grown. Individually and together.
  9. Welcome the future together with the commitment to continue to be partners, listening to each other’s points of view.
  10. Face each of the directions, beginning in the West and thank the Powers for the Gifts of this Rite.
  11. Close the ritual by saying “Thank you for this Lammastide rite! Merry Meet and Merry Part and Merry meet again!
  12. Feed each other pieces of bread and sips of ale or wine as tokens of the nourishment we provide to each other.

This is my way to honor Lammastide. It’s simple and personal. It’s to give thanks and celebrate the earth, my partner and myself. Online and in dozens of books, you will find other such plans for celebrating Lammas. Find one that speaks to you, or design one of your own!

Love/Sex/Moon Magick: Endings, Happy and Otherwise. By Lynn Eaton

A regular column from our resident Wiccan Lynn Eaton

Relationships end. There’s a saying that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or for life. Many times it’s unclear which of the categories a particular person occupies until the passage of time un-muddies the waters. And often you don’t know the relationship has ended for months or even years after it’s done. You’ve just drifted apart.

My first marriage ended in the 1990s. It was inevitable, I suppose. We had a run of eight years and without it, I wouldn’t have my two amazing daughters. For that I am grateful.

When we divorced, it seemed amicable. We even went out for lunch at a local Mexican restaurant after court to celebrate. We continued to share the house for a couple of months until I got myself organized for a move across the state. We were in regular contact for parenting responsibilities. I took my last name back.

The end? Well, sort of.

Although we had the divorce papers, it seemed that there wasn’t a real ending for me. No closure. A loose end. Something had to be done.

During this time, I reclaimed my witchy self. (I had been “forbidden” to express any of that while married. No full moon rites, no tarot cards, no power.) I began reaching out to like-minded folks in my new city. I came out of the broom closet on local television.

The end? No.

I still felt connected to this relationship and I wanted an ending. So, I designed a ritual to do just that.

First, I consulted my calendar. New moon was a week away. New moon is a time to clean out that which doesn’t serve you any longer. Sweep out that psychic closet, so to speak. Perfect for absolute endings and new beginnings.

Next, I wrote out my “vows.” All the stuff that I wanted to release. It took a few pages and was quite cathartic. I spoke with a witchy friend who helped me gather other items that would be helpful in the rite: A black candle to banish negativity, rose oil to ease the severing of ties, a wedding photo, the champagne glasses inscribed with our names and the date from our wedding.

New moon arrived. A circle was cast. Energy raised. Intent spoken aloud. Candle burnt down. Vows reduced to ash. Glasses and ashes placed into a brown paper bag and smashed. Hand was cut accidentally. Blood was spilled onto the bag. Tears. Release. Power reclaimed. But what to do with those remnants?

The night was dark. New moon, remember? I drove to the crossroads just outside of town. It’s a busy place, but there’s a pull-out just to the side. Gravel. Perfect resting spot for those remains. As I dug, I chanted a victory song. By the power of the New Moon, I released that old relationship into the Universe. I imagined that with the passing of every vehicle, the energy and power would sweep away any lingering ties.

Decades have passed since then. Our daughters have children of their own. From that ending, new beginnings have blossomed and grown. Happy ending.

Love/Sex/Moon Magick. Love Potion No. 9 By Lynn Eaton

A regular column from our resident Wiccan Lynn Eaton

For those of us who have attained a certain age, “Love Potion No. 9” is iconic. The rhythmic beat, the smooth vocals and lyrics combine to form the magickal elixir for an excellent make-out session in the darkened corners of the park—but it’s also a cautionary tale of what happens when a love spell goes sideways.

So, are there really love potions? An elixir to make someone fall in love with you? To make your sex really, really hot? Yes. There are. Aphrodisiacs have been around for thousands of years. Oysters, chocolate, wine to name a few. Wait. Wine? Chocolate wine? Mmmmm.

As a practicing witch, many friends and acquaintances have asked me to weave a love spell for them. Not happening. Too many variables. I cannot make anyone fall in love with you. Well, maybe I could, but it’s not ethical. (Free will and all that…) But there is a plethora of magickal things that you can do for yourself to attract a new love interest. Here’s a simple one, but DO NOT DO THIS WITH A SPECIFIC PERSON IN MIND. It will always go sideways.

Friday nights, ruled by Venus, are the best for love spells. After a soothing bath or a cleansing shower, put on some romantic music. “Something” by The Beatles. “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye. Or anything Barry White gets me all mushy. But that’s just me. You know yourself best. Play that.

I recommend a pink candle for love and friendship. With your fingernail or even a toothpick, carve images or words that represent love to you. It could be hearts, runes, the word love. Anything that symbolizes love to you.

In a small bowl (I’ve even used a shot glass for this!) mix together a small amount of olive oil, lavender, ground ginger and dried rose petals.  As you’re combining the ingredients together, clearly envision what a love pairing means to you. Rub the candle with your concoction while continuing to focus on your intention of attracting a new love into your life.

Calm your breathing. Say these (or similar) words as you light the candle: With this candle, I release my desire for a new flame. Into the Universe, I request the perfect romantic partner to enter my life. I usually add: As I will, so more it be! As you feel the energy being released, allow the candle to completely burn down in a safe place.

Once it’s burned itself out, combine any of the remaining oil and herb mixture with the wax. Put it into a small piece of pink cloth and keep it under your pillow. Release the energy into the Universe and dream sweet dreams of new love!

One more thing: When you are gifted that new partner, remember to thank the Universe for them. Take that charm from underneath your pillow and scatter it into the wind, or into a stream as a token of your gratitude. Blessed Be!

Love/Sex/Magick. Hey There, Lover!  By Lynn Eaton

A regular column from our resident Wiccan Lynn Eaton

Lover. Cat lover? Music lover? My lover? In the Tarot, there’s even a card for that: The Lovers. But before we jump into the card’s possible meanings, a bit of background information is necessary.

The Lovers card traditionally means a romantic relationship, but it can also indicate a great partnership in your career. If you are trying to decide on a course of action, this card reveals that the choice is an excellent and positive one. If the card is reversed though, it can mean to be aware of what your expectations are in the relationship. Have you put someone or something up on a pedestal? Is it perfection or a mirage?

Tarot conjures many emotions and images. It’s supposed to do that. Carl Jung has a whole book dedicated to its imagery and meaning. And there are literally thousands of other books and blogs about the subject. I haven’t written a book, but I have been reading tarot for over 25 years and have developed my own philosophy about the cards:

  1. Tarot is not fortunetelling. It’s merely a way of tapping in to where there may be answers to questions.
  2. If you have a question, ask it. BUT…If you don’t want to know the answer, DON’T ASK THE QUESTION!
  3. “Universal Override” is my concept of what happens if the cards seem to be responding to something other than the query posed. It’s the Universe’s way of telling you to pay attention to this area of your life.
  4. There’s no wrong (or right) way to shuffle the cards. Some readers get all snippy about this. I’ve been to readers who barely allow querents to touch their cards. Not me. Shuffle away!
  5. Tarot cannot tell you what to do. It can offer possible outcomes of choices though.

So…Lovers, Card VI of the Major Arcana. Major Arcana? Briefly, it’s the soul’s journey. What Joseph Campbell coined as “The Hero With A Thousand Faces.” In many tarot decks, this card depicts nudity and sensuality. The original pairing and coming together in passion and partnership and commitment.

I have dozens of decks of tarot cards: Robin Wood, Motherpeace, Gilded Tarot and Crow Tarot are my most frequently used. I’ve laid out the Lovers from each of these decks and laid them out side by side. They’re all unique, as lovers and their relationships should be. But they also have commonalities.

This is a representation of the Perfect Relationship. Yin and Yang. Sun and Moon. Darkness and Light. Positive and Negative. Partnership. Harmony. Love. And Sexuality.

When Lovers come together in Perfect Harmony and Balance, the Universe sighs with contentment and passion. The climax and release of togetherness.

But what if you want to decide between two lovers? Can tarot help with that? Yes.

Place the Lovers card onto your surface: It could be a table, the floor, your bed. Shuffle the remaining cards and think about your choices. When you feel they’re ready, choose a card for each choice and lay one card, face down, on each side of the Lovers. Turn the cards over one at a time. The cards displayed should give you insight into what lies ahead for you with each person.

But be careful! If you don’t want the answer to that choice of yours, don’t ask the question!

Love / Sex / Moon Magick. Mercury Retrograde Fucks Sex. Not in a good way.  By Lynn Eaton

A regular column from our resident Wiccan Lynn Eaton.

Lovespeak is a complicated language at the best of times, but during Mercury Retrograde, it’s almost impossible. It’s like trying to rake leaves in a snowstorm.

For those of you who may not be familiar with Mercury Retrograde, let me give you the Reader’s Digest definition of it: Mercury was the ancient Roman god who ruled communication. To the ancients, there were periods of time when the planet Mercury appeared to be travelling backwards through the night sky. Retrograde.

When added together, it means that communication is fucked. All forms of it: texts, emails, phone calls, Zoom meetings, face-to-face. And sex.

Sex is a touchy subject. Literally. Good touch. Energizing touch. Magick touch. (Yes, you can do sex magick. More on that in a future column.)

When I was younger, I was afraid to express my feelings about what felt good in my body during sex. Or what didn’t. Looking back on those days, it’s almost as if I was in a constant state of miscommunication. Retrograde.

There’s that word again. Retrograde. The concept itself is misunderstood. Mercury isn’t really going backwards. It just looks that way. And, so it is with communication. We need to be clear about it. Be sure that what we say, write, and express is what others receive from us.

Our world is much more cluttered than that of the ancient Romans or Greeks. We like to believe that with our technology that communication is easier. It is. And yet it also is not.

Texting is a perfect example of that. I remember a text that my Hunny Man sent to me. I forget exactly what was said, but he meant it to be funny. In person, it would have been. But I misunderstood it and was mightily pissed off. When I got home from work, we were able to clear the air and we had a good chuckle. And checked the planets. Mercury was in retrograde.

From May 29 to June 22 we will experience this phenomenon again. It’s occurring during the entire Gemini sun phase. Wanna guess what rules Gemini? Yup, Mercury. God of communication. Great. (Sarcasm, in case that wasn’t clear.)

As a Gemini, I can look at this two ways: I could take it as an indication that everything I say will be misconstrued. I’ll have to explain the nuances of everything that comes out of my mouth or through my devices. Or—I could look at it as a sort of cross cancellation. Maybe retrograde-ness will be lessened by sun in Gemini. I could revel in all of my communications and the clarity that I intend. The choice is obvious for me.

I usually have a tendency to blurt out whatever is on my mind without thinking about it too much. Sex has been the exception, but I’m getting better at it. I have relied on sending “signals” that I want to “fool around.” Unsurprisingly, I’m often disappointed that even after almost twenty years together, the signals get crossed. This retrograde will be more “Hey, hunny. Let’s go upstairs for some serious lovemaking.” Or even the more blatant, “I am in the mood for sex. Are you too?” And Retrograde be damned.

The Crush Letter
The Crush Letter is a weekly newsletter curated by Dish Stanley on everything love & connection - friendship, romance, self-love, sex. If you’d like to take a look at some of our best stories go to Read Us. Want the Dish?

If you love me as much as I love you (and I really do love you!), then please help me grow by forwarding this {love} Letter to a friend!  And I'd love to have you join us on instagram, facebook & twitter.


"Divorce, Baby, Divorce" by Liza Lentini "Don't Touch My Hat.*" Midlife Men & Loneliness "This is a Tale of Modern Love ..." 5 Great Boutique Hotels Around NYC. By Jeanne Bosse 5 Things That Turn Me On: Ali Waks Adams 5 Things That Turn Me On: Bob Guccione, Jr 5 Things That Turn Me On: Craig J 5 Things That Turn Me On: Dish Stanley 5 Things That Turn Me On: Elisabeth C Lamotte 5 Things That Turn Me On: Jane Boon 5 Things That Turn Me On: Lady Verity 5 Things That Turn Me On: Liza Lentini 5 Things That Turn Me On: Lynn Eaton A Roman Love Affair. By Lady Verity A Turntable and a Candle: F-ing Classics About Face: Skincare Essentials for Men An Upbeat Playlist for the Divorce-curious And I Wondered ... Do We Really Need A SATC Reboot? Bisexually Anxious Among the Noodges. Review: shiva Baby Bloody Good Sex Book Review: A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers Book Review: Norma Kamali: I Am Invincible Book Review: Swan Dive: The Making of a Rogue Ballerina by Georgina Pazcoguins. Reviewed By Lady Varity Book Review: The Lover. By Marguerite Duras. Book Review: The Story of O CRUSH Summer Reading List! From CRUSH Reader Sharon Weinberg, Owner of The Chatham Bookstore Dear Dish Dear Dish. About those summer orgies ... DEVOUR {things to do, have & know about} Dish Gets A Kink Assessment. Doing Nothing With Friends Extended Encounters. By Lisa Ellex F*ck Songs. Three Best Jazz Albums for a Sexy Night In. By Lisa Ellex Five Best Jazz Clubs Around The Country. By Lisa Ellex Four Indie Bookstore That Stayed In My Life Long After I Left Town. By Dish Stanley French Kiss: French Girls Do It Better, Right? Grief. By Lauren D. Weinstein Hefner. By Bob Guccione, Jr Hide A Love Note In Their Pocket. Hook Ups Hot Thots I just turned 60 but I feel 22 I'm Dish, the Master of Ceremonies Kathy: This Is A Love Story About Three Friends Lamentations on the Lost Art of Kissing. By Elisabeth C. Lamotte Let's Quiver: Sexual Debut Stories Let's Reconsider, with Adam Grant Love & Mike's "Bad Girl Pasta" Love/Sex/Moon Magick By Lynn Eaton Melissa Biggs Bradley's New Book Safari Style Makes Me Want To Go On A Safari Movie Magic. By Amy Ferris My First Solo Trip: Mexico, Part I. By Dawn Larsen Naked & Not afraid by KC Roth Nice to Meet You. How Are You Crazy? Oasis in the Desert. One woman's honest journey through vaginal rejuvenation. OMG Yes. Pillow Tawk (or NOT)? Playing Games: A Review of Esther Perel's New Sold Out Card Game. Podcast Review: Dying for Sex. Why You Need to Listen to Molly's Journey. PrimeCrush & Chill: The Hottest Thing to Watch Right Now Is A 1968. French Psychodrama "La Piscine" PrimeCrush Cocktail Coaster Giveaway! Reports from the edge. By Jane Boon SIP. Best Lines from the Double Dates Podcast Hosted by Marlo Thomas & Phil Donahue Six Ways to Get the Friends Who Count Snapshot Rec: Get Yourself Sexify-ed on Netflix. Snapshot Rec: Read Liza Lentini on the Indigo Girls in SPIN Songs That Make You Wanna F*ck Songs That Make You Wanna F*ck. By Christian Pan Songs That Make You Wanna F*ck. By Sarah Vespermann Stanley Tucci Is Paradise Stories & Conversations Stories to Read Aloud to a Lover. By A.K.A. Darla The 3 Things You're Really Fighting About The 4 Most Common Skincare Issues for Men (But Were Afraid to Ask). By Lauren D. Weinstein The Crush Letter No 33 The Crush letter No 36 The Crush Letter No 39 The Dynamics of Friendhip By Lauren D. Weinstein The Friendship Files: Like A Tattoo Thee Timeless Travel Books. By Bob Guccione Jr. To get all of us, subscribe. Treats: A Sex Toy Tester Update Willin'. Divorce the Feng Shui Way. Willin'. Size Really Does Matter. You're My Medicine You're Wearing A Turtleneck, Again? Your Love Is King & Queen, GQ