‘5 Things’ That Turn Our Crush Readers On.  By Dish Stanley

‘5 Things’ That Turn Our Crush Readers On. By Dish Stanley

. 15 min read

In this recurring column, we share five things that light our fire.

5 Things That Turn Me On: R. Edas.

Name: R. Edas

Is this your real name: No.

Occupation: Writer/musician.

Current relationship status: In a committed relationship.

Which generation are you in: Generation X, born in 1961.


5 Things That Turn Me On:

To Get Me Going: A soft touch to my back or the very tippy-top of my ass.

A quick, slightly open mouth kiss, that lights across my lips as quickly as it retreats.

A wooden paddle.

Seeing a woman from behind, topless.

A ‘naughty school girl’ anime scene.

Sexiest Song: “Kashmir” is an iconic song for Led Zeppelin, cliché I know, but it is the relentlessness of it.

Sexiest City: San Francisco. Found and spent lots of kinky times there.

Hottest Book: Belinda by Anne Rice (writing as Anne Rambling at the time). Read it when published in 1984.

Product or Aid I Love: Cock cages…but only to look at.

We started with my 5 Things. Then CRUSH readers and contributors came, and we've had 5 Things from R. Edas, Dish Stanley, Bob Guccione, Jr, Jane Boon, Crush Reader Craig J and others.

What turns you on?  We'd love to hear from you! (Yes, you!) If you’d like us to send you a template to fill out, it’s really easy and fun, please email me at dish@primecrush.com. You must be a CRUSH Reader! (PS you can publish under your alias.)

5 Things That Turn Me On: Dish Stanley

1. Almost anything read aloud just for me. Hearing stories read aloud just for me turns me on. James Salter’s A Sport and a Pastime probably represents the peak, but the humorous love story About Alice by Calvin Trillin, many of the Eve Babitz stories, E.E. Cummings poems and even a really awkward cringe-inducing question-story published in the Boston Globe’s Love Letters column have all worked. (Well.) Want to turn me on? Read it to me, daddy-o.

2. Anyone cooking anything for me. My maternal grandfather had a restaurant in the small town where my parents grew up. On Sundays he cooked for the extended family, which included his brothers (he had nine) and their families, his four children and their kids (all 10 of us).  My grandfather was taciturn; he might say five words in a night. He literally fed us his love. And that's how I continue to feel when anyone cooks anything for me.

3. Getting a great compliment. “I’ve noticed that you’re a world-class encourager of others.” It's the best compliment I’ve ever received, and it made me feel much closer to the friend-who-became-a-lover who gave it.

4. My iroha+ TORI vibrator.  If you watched Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown “Tokyo (Season 2, Episode 7)”, then you know that Bourdain loved the mysteries (and fetishes) of Japan most of all. In Bourdain: Off the Cuff: Tokyo he begins in the red-light district of Shinjuku, then visits hostess bars, sex clubs and bondage artists. In Tokyo by myself after a bad breakup and feeling very Lost in Translation, I retraced many of Bourdain's steps, which resulted in finding the vibrator that turns me on the most. (And I’ve tried a lot.) I have three unopened boxes in my closet as back-up.

5. Watching Secretary, directed by Steven Shainberg. This superbly cast, quirky 2002 arthouse film about the surprising way a dominant-submissive relationship develops between a businessman (James Spader) and his assistant (Maggie Gyllenhaal) still delights. Best lines:

Mr. Grey: “We can’t do this 24 hours a day, seven days a week.”
Lee: “Why not?”

5 Things That Turn Me On: Bob Guccione, Jr

Crush Reader Bob Guccione, Jr Shares 5 Things That Turn Him On.

Is this your real name: Yes.

Occupation: Founder and Editor of WONDERLUST wonderlusttravel.com and also founded SPIN and other magazines.

Current relationship status: In a committed relationship.

Which generation are you in: Boomer, Baby!

Follow me on: www.wonderlusttravel.com


5 Things That Turn Me On: Bob Guccione, Jr

Paris: Not my favorite city by a long shot, but in its own league as sexy. It’s palpably sensual --- including being a sometimes not-so-hot mess. If a city could smell of sex, Paris does. And it is elegant and profane, effortlessly, like the best, most memorable sex.

Not words, sounds: Moans of delight and surprise, of course, or the excited rise in a voice when two people connect on something as mundane as eating a hot dog on the street together or seeing the beauty or absurdity of something at the same time. And there’s nothing more exciting than the silence between a couple just perfectly and wordlessly and ephemerally in harmony.

Kiss Me…: Everywhere. Don’t stop. Ever.

Touch Me…: Real sex is XXX --- from the most passionate, physical ravaging of each others’ bodies, to fucking someone in an elevator, to the most-gentle lovemaking. Because sex is about absorption and melding and excitement and desire and covetousness. It’s nice to have your neck stroked, but the real action is in the middle of the body.

Humor: Humor is the sexiest, and most intimate, connection between lovers that isn’t physical. Often it’s sexier, and more intimate. Humor brings down barriers and encourages the weightless surrender that is trust, the oxygen of love and sex. Intelligence is unspeakably thrilling. Confidence is sexy. Caring and kindness turn me on, caring for others and being cared for, mattering to the one I love and lust for. And vulnerability --- not because I want to exploit that person, but because I want to honor and celebrate their openness and trust.

only If I want him to), it makes me feel hot and desirable and feminine.

5 Things That Turn Me On: Jane Boon

Crush Reader Jane Boon Shares 5 Things That Turn Her On.

Occupation: Engineer & Writer. Author of 2020's Edge Play, where 50 Shades of Grey meets The Big Short.

Current relationship status: Married.

Which generation are you in: Gen X.


5 Things That Turn Me On

“Criminal” by Fiona Apple: It’s got a jazzy sound, a throbbing rhythm, and Apple crooning about how she’s “been a bad, bad girl,” and discussing how “a girl can break a boy, just because she can.” The lyrics are dark and moody. They serve as a reminder of how intense love and lust can be, and how much power we give to the ones we love, and how much power they give us, in return.

Paris: I adore Paris. It’s not original, but the place just sizzles. I like the elegance of the city, the fact you can order a Kir Royale just about anywhere, and yet, there’s a dark underbelly full of intrigue. I enjoy the Pigalle, the traditional center of the city’s nightlife. From the Moulin Rouge to the seedy sex clubs, there’s an edge to the neighborhood that counterbalances the propriety and seriousness of Paris’ traditional cultural offerings.

Story of O by Pauline Réage: I remember first spotting the book in the “erotica” section of my local bookstore, along with various titles by “Anonymous.” In my teens, I was too timid to pick up a copy, but in my 20s, I indulged. The outrageousness of the fantasies presented in the novel stunned me, and I was intrigued that the author was a woman who’d written the book as a gift for a lover. The notions of sexual surrender and conquest resonated, and the novel left me eager to learn more.

{Note Bene to Crush Readers: we published a review of Story of O in The Crush Letter No 9 that you can read here.}

Men with really big brains!: I adore intelligence coupled with humor, but only when the humor is generous and not cutting. It’s a pleasure being around people who make me feel like I’m a brighter, faster, more fun and engaged version of myself.

Risky Business: The scene where Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay are on the train in Risky Business is one of my favorites. They get in the car, and the music heightens the anticipation. It feels like an eternity, for them and for us, before the train car clears of enough passengers and the gorgeous pair can begin to get intimate. There’s even a moment where Tom Cruise escorts the drunk man who has been eyeing the couple off the train, and deposits him on a bench and carefully arranges the guy’s coat so he’ll be warm. And then when they finally have privacy, he first looks at his partner reverentially and then with hunger.

{More on Jane Boon's novel Edge Play in our EroticLit Summer

"Women my age who are 'unfuckwithable.'" Craig's 5 Things

5 Things That Turn Me On: Crush Reader Craig J

Is this your real name: Yep. First name, middle initial.

Occupation: Consumer goods marketing executive

Current relationship status Divorced Father/Single

Which generation are you in: Gen X, eating it up.


Barcelona. I’ve been around the world and for me, Barcelona has always stood out on the sexy scale. Some of the most beautiful people, the architecture, the culture, the food, the arts, the energy, the warmth.  Can’t be topped.

Janet Jackson’s That’s the Way Love Goes.  Besides the fact that Janet leaks of sexiness in the music video, (remember those?), it’s the rhythm. It’s a tweener for dancing but definitely gets me moving every time.

Touch Me … For me it’s less about location and more about subtlety and spontaneity. Those little reminders – like brushing up against me, grabbing my hand when we cross the street, even a playful tap on the ass.

Women My Age Who Are “Unfuckwithable.” Certainly intelligence, confidence and courage. I like “unfuckwithable” as a mantra. I feel more alive than at any earlier phase of my life, and what I see is that women my age do too. I’m still working out a theory on this, but it might have to do with the fact that we are becoming empty nesters, hitting a 50 milestone, looking up, focusing on what matters to us and accelerating our personal growth, both emotional and physical. That's all very sexy.

My HIZE Hoods. I’m into staying healthy and these HIZE Hoods are my latest peloton-accessory obsession. I get a peloton ride in at least 4x a week and I’ve pimped my ride with a racing seat, improved clip-in pedals and my favorite (simple) upgrade, my HIZE hoods. They make it feel like being on my road bike – more comfortable, less stress, more power, better posture. A great ride gives me a high, makes me feel like embracing life.

5 Things That Turn Me on: Liza Lentini

Crush Reader Liza Lentini shares 5 Things That Turn Her On.

Is this your real name: Yes.

Occupation: Writer & Editor.

Current relationship status: In a committed relationship.

Which generation are you in: Proud Gen Xer.

Follow you on: insta @thiswickedawesomelife


La Vie En Rose” by Grace Jones: I never make a feel-good playlist of any kind without this song on it. Grace Jones is one of the hottest women who fell to earth, and she took one of the most beautiful songs of all time to the stratosphere and back. The result is a tour de force as only Grace Jones can do it. Like her, it’s stunning and powerful and steaming hot.

Being nice to my dog: My dog and I come as a pair. There are no negotiations on this one. Besides, dog people are the best people. Am I right?

9½ Weeks (film): The book and the film are both incredible, but the film decided to soften Elizabeth McNeill’s original story, as films tend to, so I think of it as its own entity. With that, Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger have never been more beautiful. The film is careful to focus on love—with some very light BDSM on the side—there’s some heartbreak, but no major damage done. NYC in the 1980s makes for a perfectly sexy backdrop.

On your knees, Baby!: Um, I’m talking about housecleaning…what did you think? I am obsessed with keeping things clean and organized, and as I’m usually the one who takes initiative with this, it’s white hot when someone else—that I haven’t paid—does it for me. And I’m not talking about a tiny little counter wipe, I mean…scrubbing floors. (Yes, on your knees.) YUM.

Breakfast in bed: Typically, breakfast in bed is served when I’m on vacation…and truly, what’s sexier than a vacation? I admit I order more food than I can eat, and lots of things I wouldn’t ordinarily have for breakfast. It feels so indulgent. It is so indulgent. It just occurred to me as I’m writing this that I haven’t had breakfast in bed for far too long…must remedy that immediately.

5 Things That Turn Me On: Elisabeth C. Lamotte

In this recurring column, we share five things that light our fire.

Name: Elisabeth C. Lamotte

Is this your real name: No.

Occupation: Writer.

Current relationship status: Single.

Which generation are you in: Boomer.


5 Things That Turn Me On:

Sexiest Song Two come to mind:When Doves Cry” by Prince, which made me think and makes me still think of my first big love, because it described a relationship that was fractured but sexually explosive. And, “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak, which made me think and makes me still think of my second big love. I didn’t want to love him; the timing was all wrong and he was wrong for me. An artist, intense, but remote and elusive. But, love him I did.

Sexiest City: Paris.  Yes, I know many say it, but I’ve been there a number of times and know it’s not a cliché. Paris doesn’t try hard to be sexy, it just is. To start, you are surrounded by incredible history, architecture and art, with the Seine and its beautiful bridges and river walks. It’s also a state of mind. Parisians live and let live. And, how, they live! Despite being in a large city, you see life being relished in every way.

Hottest Book: Hard to single out any in particular, but one of them for me is Thomas Hardy’s Far From the Madding Crowd. I first read it decades ago and reread it last about five years ago.

Personality Traits: Having a slightly warped, but good sense of humor. Being an adult while still having a good sense of fun. Being sophisticated, intelligent, and well-read but unpretentious. Having eclectic interests. Communication; not being sulky and silent when dealing with problems.

Daily Acts of Love: Letting me wake up slowly. Remembering and caring about things that are important to me.  Recognizing that the importance of my family and friends will not take away from our relationship.

(And here’s one more…as a bonus!)
Product or Aid: I Love Massage oil, with a pleasing scent, of course.

5 Things That Turn Me On: Lynn Eaton

In this recurring column, we share five things that light our fire.  Crush Columnist Lynn Eaton writes our popular Love/Sex/Moon Magick column.  

Is this your real name: Yes.

Occupation: I teach adult high school in rural Canada.

Current relationship status: Committed, long-term, common-law relationship with my Hunny Man.

Which generation are you in: Proud to be a Boomer.


Athens, Greece: The sexiest city I have ever been in. The vibe is positive, welcoming and safe. A penis is a symbol of love there and can be found at the end of keychains on every street corner. The Greeks have an ancient history of viewing and portraying sex in an open and honest manner. I felt those vibrations everywhere!

Fifty Shades of Grey: Wow. The hottest book. Crazy story there, too. One of my adult students recommended it ten years ago. Gullible Lynn bought it. Gullible Lynn began reading it in class. (Not out loud, thank goodness!) Gullible Lynn took it home after reaching page 61 to finish it.

Casablanca: The hottest movie for romance has to be Casablanca. I mean, Rick’s speech at the end of the movie when he puts Ilsa on that plane… “We both know that you belong with Victor. You’re part of his work, the thing that keeps him going.” Rick loves her and chooses her happiness over his own. I cry every damn time.

A sense of humor: The ability to see the wit in any given situation is a gift. Many times I’ve found myself in a position that is deeply unsettling and my Hunny Man helps me see what’s amusing in it. It makes me want to rip his clothes off right there!

Start me up: Every day he shows me how much he loves me. But the most important act of love he shows me is during brutal winter season: He starts my car for me. I get to begin my day in a toasty vehicle as I drive the 45 minutes to my destination. That’s love!

5 Things That Turn Me On: Lady Verity

Crush Contributor Lady Verity is the author of the recent popular PrimeCrush piece French Kiss: French Girls Do It Beter, Right? and A Turntable and a Candle: F-ing Classics.

Name: Lady Verity

Is this your real name: No.

Occupation: Writer & poet.

Current relationship status: Married.


Male dancers: Only once was I struck by beauty. I stopped in my tracks and stared at one of the most beautiful men I ever saw. He’s a professional contemporary dancer and teacher in New York. Male dancers are hot. They’re in fantastic shape, highly disciplined, and focused too, because you can’t dance and check your cell phone at the same time.

Serge Gainsbourg: Always a little world-weary and bedroom-eyed, he was a great artist who made outrageous remarks in interviews and sometimes showed up drunk at his performances. His ballads are a huge turn-on, and his voice is seductive perfection. He looked like he just made love or was just about to.

Red Cartier gift box: A gift he picked out because he was thinking of you, and he’s not cheap either which is always a turn-off.

Château d'Yquem in Paris: Bread, cheese, chocolates, and a bottle of Château d'Yquem just makes a person’s clothes start coming off.

Florence: Florence IS art. It’s in museums, on the street, Renaissance statues in the squares, on the facades of buildings. It’s cozy-shabby-chic and it’s where Dante first saw Beatrice on the Ponte Vecchio Bridge. Florence is easy and unrushed. It just happens.

5 Things That Turn Me On: Ali Waks Adams

Crush Reader Ali Waks Adams Shares 5 Things That Turn Her On.

Is this your real name: Yes

Occupation: Chef/Pop-up Producer.

Current relationship status:  Married.

Which generation are you in: Gen X, Bitches.


“I Burn For You” by Sting: When I was but a girl, I had a full-on Sting crush. I once sat outside Radio City Music Hall one night to give him a letter I wrote on my unicorn stationery. Now not so much, I mean we’ve both changed so much over the years, but back then I devoured the entire Sting oeuvre. He was in this indie film called Brimstone and Treacle where he played a total creepy sex offender…which was not very sexy BUT this song has a beat that is so sexy…ba ba ba da ba ba ba dum, ba ba ba… it’s totally the rhythm of a fantastic f*ck, and to this day I hear it and get a little buzz.

Words: There was a man who I was involved with who would just go “MMMM” a sort of grunt/hum, like “yes…I want it now” when he saw me and it was really sexy.

Kiss Me…: My lower back.

Touch Me…: Pull my hair and slap my ass.

Confidence (in Context): It’s all about context, context, and consent. I love a confident man, who looks at you like you are a Milk-Bone and they are a Golden Lab, but of course only if I find him attractive ‘cause otherwise it’s disgusting. But there is just something about that power dynamic of “Me Tarzan, you Jane -- and I am going to rock your world”, that just gets me going. I realize it’s very un-PC, anti-#metoo, but if we’re talking about what turns me on not what I think is proper behavior, and proper behavior is not really all that sexy to me, I like it a little bit rough and nasty…and when a man obviously wants to rip my clothes off

Hello, Crush! What turns you on? I’m thrilled to introduce you to this new recurring column where we share five things that light our fire. I’m kicking it off with my list above – and I’d love to hear from you! (Yes, you!) If you’d like us to send you a template to fill out, it’s really easy and fun, please email me at dish@primecrush.com. (PS you can publish under your alias.)

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